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第14章

少年维特的烦恼-第14章

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moment。 She is not a native of this place , but resides here with her
aunt。 The countenance of the old lady is not prepossessing。 I paid her
much attention, addressing the greater part of my conversation to her
; and, in less than half an hour, I discovered what her niece subsequently
acknowledged to me, that her aged aunt , having but a small fortune ,
and a still smaller share of understanding, enjoys no satisfaction except
in the pedigree of her ancestors, no protection save in her noble birth,
and no enjoyment but in looking from her castle over the heads of the
humble citizens。 She was, no doubt , handsome in her youth, and in
her early years probably trifled away her time in rendering many a poor
youth the sport of her caprice: in her riper years she has submitted
to the yoke of a veteran officer, who, in return for her person and
her small independence, has spent with her what we may designate her
age of brass。 He is dead; and she is now a widow , and deserted。 She
spends her iron age alone , and would not be approached, except for
the loveliness of her niece。

  JANUARY 8 , 1772。 What beings are men, whose whole thoughts are
occupied with form and ceremony , who for years together devote their
mental and physical exertions to the task of advancing themselves but
one step, and endeavouring to occupy a higher place at the table。 Not
that such persons would otherwise want employment : on the contrary,
they give themselves much trouble by neglecting important business for
such petty trifles。 Last week a question of precedence arose at a sledging…party,
and all our amusement was spoiled。

  The silly creatures cannot see that it is not place which constitutes
real greatness, since the man who occupies the first place but seldom
plays the principal part。 How many kings are governed by their ministers
—— how many ministers by their secretaries? Who, in such cases, is
really the chief? He , as it seems to me, who can see through the others,
and possesses strength or skill enough to make their power or passions
subservient to the execution of his own designs。

  JANUARY 20。 I must write to you from this place , my dear Charlotte,
from a small room in a country inn, where I have taken shelter from a
severe storm。 During my whole residence in that wretched place D——,
where I lived amongst strangers ,—— strangers, indeed , to this heart,
—— I never at any time felt the smallest inclination to correspond with
you ; but in this cottage, in this retirement , in this solitude ,
with the snow and hail beating against my lattice…pane, you are my first
thought。 The instant I entered, your figure rose up before me, and the
remembrance ! O my Charlotte , the sacred , tender remembrance ! Gracious
Heaven! restore to me the happy moment of our first acquaintance。

  Could you but see me, my dear Charlotte, in the whirl of dissipation,
—— how my senses are dried up , but my heart is at no time full。 I
enjoy no single moment of happiness : all is vain—— nothing touches
me。 I stand , as it were , before the raree…show: I see the little
puppets move, and I ask whether it is not an optical illusion。 I am amused
with these puppets, or , rather , I am myself one of them: but, when
I sometimes grasp my neighbour's hand , I feel that it is not natural
; and I withdraw mine with a shudder。 In the evening I say I will enjoy
the next morning's sunrise, and yet I remain in bed: in the day I promise
to ramble by moonlight; and I, nevertheless , remain at home。 I know
not why I rise, nor why I go to sleep。

  The leaven which animated my existence is gone: the charm which cheered
me in the gloom of night, and aroused me from my morning slumbers, is
for ever fled。

  I have found but one being here to interest me, a Miss B ——。 She
resembles you , my dear Charlotte, if any one can possibly resemble
you。 〃Ah!〃 you will say, 〃he has learned how to pay fine pliments。〃
And this is partly true。 I have been very agreeable lately, as it was
not in my power to be otherwise。 I have , moreover , a deal of wit:
and the ladies say that no one understands flattery better, or falsehoods
you will add; since the one acplishment invariably acpanies the
other。 But I must tell you of Miss B——。 She has abundance of soul,
which flashes from her deep blue eyes。 Her rank is a torment to her ,
and satisfies no one desire of her heart。 She would gladly retire from
this whirl of fashion , and we often picture to ourselves a life of undisturbed
happiness in distant scenes of rural retirement : and then we speak of
you , my dear Charlotte; for she knows you, and renders homage to your
merits; but her homage is not exacted, but voluntary, she loves you,
and delights to hear you made the subject of conversation。

  Oh, that I were sitting at your feet in your favourite little room,
with the dear children playing around us! If they became troublesome
to you, I would tell them some appalling goblin story; and they would
crowd round me with silent attention。 The sun is setting in glory ; his
last rays are shining on the snow , which covers the face of the country
: the storm is over, and I must return to my dungeon。 Adieu !—— Is
Albert with you ? and what is he to you? God forgive the question。

  FEBRUARY 8。 For a week past we have had the most wretched weather
: but this to me is a blessing ; for, during my residence here , not
a single fine day has beamed from the heavens , but has been lost to
me by the intrusion of somebody。 During the severity of rain, sleet,
frost , and storm, I congratulate myself that it cannot be worse indoors
than abroad , nor worse abroad than it is within doors ; and so I bee
reconciled。 When the sun rises bright in the morning, and promises a
glorious day, I never omit to exclaim, 〃There , now, they have another
blessing from Heaven, which they will be sure to destroy : they spoil
everything,—— health , fame , happiness, amusement; and they do
this generally through folly, ignorance, or imbecility, and always ,
according to their own account, with the best intentions !〃 I could
often beseech them, on my bended knees , to be less resolved upon their
own destruction。

  FEBRUARY 17。 I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much
longer together。 He is really growing past endurance。 He transacts his
business in so ridiculous a manner, that I am often pelled to contradict
him , and do things my own way ; and then , of course, he thinks them
very ill done。 He plained of me lately on this account at court; and
the minister gave me a reprimand,—— a gentle one it is true, but still
a reprimand。 In consequence of this , I was about to tender my resignation,
when I received a letter, to which I submitted with great respect, on
account of the high , noble, and generous spirit which dictated it。
He endeavoured to soothe my excessive sensibility , paid a tribute to
my extreme ideas of duty, of good example, and of perseverance in business,
as the fruit of my youthful ardour, an impulse which he did not seek
to destroy, but only to moderate , that it might have proper play and
be productive of good。 So now I am at rest for another week , and no
longer at variance with myself。 Content and peace of mind are valuable
things: I could wish , my dear friend , that these precious jewels
were less transitory。

  FEBRUARY 20。 God bless you, my dear friends, and may he grant you
that happiness which he denies to me!

  I thank you , Albert , for having deceived me。 I waited for the
news that your wedding…day was fixed; and I intended on that day , with
solemnity , to take down Charlotte's profile from the wall , and to
bury it with some other papers I possess。 You are now united, and her
picture still remains here。 Well, let it remain! Why should it not?
I know that I am still one of your society, that I still occupy a place
uninjured in Charlotte's heart, that I hold the second place therein
; and I intend to keep it。 Oh, I should bee mad if she could forget!
Albert, that thought is hell ! Farewell , Albert farewell, angel of
heaven farewell , Charlotte!

  MARCH 15。 I have just had a sad adventure , which will drive me away
from here。 I lose all patience!—— Death!—— It is not to be remedied
; and you alone are to blame , for you urged and impelled me to fill
a post for which I was by no means suited。 I have now reason to be satisfied,
and so have you ! But, that you may not again attribute this fatality
to my impetuous temper, I send you , my dear sir, a plain and simple
narration of the affair , as a mere chronicler of facts would describe
it。

  The Count of O—— likes and distinguishes me。 It is well known ,
and I have mentioned this to you a hundred times。 Yesterday I dined with
him。 It is the day on which the nobility are accustomed to assemble at
his house in the evening。 I never once thought of the assembly, nor that
we subalterns did not belong to such society。 Well, I dine

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