少年维特的烦恼-第13章

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Great　God　，　must　we　thus　part　with　everything　we　hold　dear　in　this　world？
Nobody　felt　this　more　acutely　than　the　children　：　they　cried　and　lamented
for　a　long　time　afterward　，　plaining　that　men　had　carried　away　their
dear　mamma。〃

　　Charlotte　rose。　It　aroused　me　；　but　I　continued　sitting，　and　held
her　hand。　〃Let　us　go，〃　she　said：　〃it　grows　late。〃　She　attempted　to　withdraw
her　hand：　I　held　it　still。　〃We　shall　see　each　other　again，〃　I　exclaimed
：　〃we　shall　recognise　each　other　under　every　possible　change　！　I　am
going　，〃　I　continued　，　〃going　willingly　；　but，　should　I　say　for　ever，
perhaps　I　may　not　keep　my　word。　Adieu　，　Charlotte；　adieu，　Albert。　We
shall　meet　again。〃　〃Yes　：　tomorrow　，　I　think，〃　she　answered　with　a
smile。　Tomorrow　！　how　I　felt　the　word！　Ah　！　she　little　thought　，　when
she　drew　her　hand　away　from　mine。　They　walked　down　the　avenue。　I　stood
gazing　after　them　in　the　moonlight。　I　threw　myself　upon　the　ground，　and
wept：　I　then　sprang　up　，　and　ran　out　upon　the　terrace　，　and　saw，　under
the　shade　of　the　linden…trees　，　her　white　dress　disappearing　near　the
garden…gate。　I　stretched　out　my　arms，　and　she　vanished。

　　BOOK　II。

　　OCTOBER　2O。　We　arrived　here　yesterday。　The　ambassador　is　indisposed，
and　will　not　go　out　for　some　days。　If　he　were　less　peevish　and　morose　，
all　would　be　well。　I　see　but　too　plainly　that　Heaven　has　destined　me　to
severe　trials　；　but　courage！　a　light　heart　may　bear　anything。　A　light
heart　！　I　smile　to　find　such　a　word　proceeding　from　my　pen。　A　little
more　lightheartedness　would　render　me　the　happiest　being　under　the　sun。
But　must　I　despair　of　my　talents　and　faculties，　whilst　others　of　far
inferior　abilities　parade　before　me　with　the　utmost　self…satisfaction　？
Gracious　Providence　，　to　whom　I　owe　all　my　powers，　why　didst　thou　not
withhold　some　of　those　blessings　I　possess，　and　substitute　in　their　place
a　feeling　of　self…confidence　and　contentment？

　　But　patience！　all　will　yet　be　well　；　for　I　assure　you　，　my　dear
friend，　you　were　right　：　since　I　have　been　obliged　to　associate　continually
with　other　people　，　and　observe　what　they　do　，　and　how　they　employ　themselves，
I　have　bee　far　better　satisfied　with　myself。　For　we　are　so　constituted
by　nature　，　that　we　are　ever　prone　to　pare　ourselves　with　others；
and　our　happiness　or　misery　depends　very　much　on　the　objects　and　persons
around　us。　On　this　account，　nothing　is　more　dangerous　than　solitude：
there　our　imagination　，　always　disposed　to　rise，　taking　a　new　flight
on　the　wings　of　fancy　，　pictures　to　us　a　chain　of　beings　of　whom　we　seem
the　most　inferior。　All　things　appear　greater　than　they　really　are　，　and
all　seem　superior　to　us。　This　operation　of　the　mind　is　quite　natural：
we　so　continually　feel　our　own　imperfections，　and　fancy　we　perceive　in
others　the　qualities　we　do　not　possess，　attributing　to　them　also　all
that　we　enjoy　ourselves　，　that　by　this　process　we　form　the　idea　of　a
perfect　，　happy　man，——　a　man，　however，　who　only　exists　in　our　own
imagination。　But　when　，　in　spite　of　weakness　and　disappointments　，　we
set　to　work　in　earnest，　and　persevere　steadily　，　we　often　find，　that，
though　obliged　continually　to　tack，　we　make　more　way　than　others　who
have　the　assistance　of　wind　and　tide；　and，　in　truth　，　there　can　be
no　greater　satisfaction　than　to　keep　pace　with　others　or　outstrip　them
in　the　race。

　　NOVEMBER　26。　I　begin　to　find　my　situation　here　more　tolerable　，　considering
all　circumstances。　I　find　a　great　advantage　in　being　much　occupied；　and
the　number　of　persons　I　meet，　and　their　different　pursuits　，　create
a　varied　entertainment　for　me。　I　have　formed　the　acquaintance　of　the　Count
C　——　and　I　esteem　him　more　and　more　every　day。　He　is　a　man　of　strong
understanding　and　great　discernment　；　but，　though　he　sees　farther　than
other　people，　he　is　not　on　that　account　cold　in　his　manner　，　but　capable
of　inspiring　and　returning　the　warmest　affection。　He　appeared　interested
in　me　on　one　occasion　，　when　I　had　to　transact　some　business　with　him。
He　perceived，　at　the　first　word，　that　we　understood　each　other，　and
that　he　could　converse　with　me　in　a　different　tone　from　what　he　used　with
others。　I　cannot　sufficiently　esteem　his　frank　and　open　kindness　to　me。
It　is　the　greatest　and　most　genuine　of　pleasures　to　observe　a　great　mind
in　sympathy　with　our　own。

　　DECEMBER　24。　As　I　anticipated　，　the　ambassador　occasions　me　infinite
annoyance。　He　is　the　most　punctilious　blockhead　under　heaven。　He　does
everything　step　by　step　，　with　the　trifling　minuteness　of　an　old　woman
；　and　he　is　a　man　whom　it　is　impossible　to　please，　because　he　is　never
pleased　with　himself。　I　like　to　do　business　regularly　and　cheerfully，
and　，　when　it　is　finished，　to　leave　it。　But　he　constantly　returns　my
papers　to　me，　saying　，　〃They　will　do，〃　but　remending　me　to　look
over　them　again　，　as　〃one　may　always　improve　by　using　a　better　word　or
a　more　appropriate　particle。〃　I　then　lose　all　patience，　and　wish　myself
at　the　devil's。　Not　a　conjunction　，　not　an　adverb，　must　be　omitted：
he　has　a　deadly　antipathy　to　all　those　transpositions　of　which　I　am　so
fond；　and，　if　the　music　of　our　periods　is　not　tuned　to　the　established，
official　key，　he　cannot　prehend　our　meaning。　It　is　deplorable　to　be
connected　with　such　a　fellow。

　　My　acquaintance　with　the　Count　C——　is　the　only　pensation　for
such　an　evil。　He　told　me　frankly，　the　other　day，　that　he　was　much　displeased
with　the　difficulties　and　delays　of　the　ambassador；　that　people　like
him　are　obstacles　，　both　to　themselves　and　to　others。　〃But　，〃　added
he，　〃one　must　submit　，　like　a　traveller　who　has　to　ascend　a　mountain
：　if　the　mountain　was　not　there，　the　road　would　be　both　shorter　and
pleasanter；　but　there　it　is，　and　he　must　get　over　it。〃　The　old　man　perceives
the　count's　partiality　for　me　：　this　annoys　him，　and，　he　seizes　every
opportunity　to　depreciate　the　count　in　my　hearing。　I　naturally　defend
him　，　and　that　only　makes　matters　worse。　Yesterday　he　made　me　indignant，
for　he　also　alluded　to　me。　〃The　count　，〃　he　said　，　〃is　a　man　of　the
world　，　and　a　good　man　of　business　：　his　style　is　good，　and　he　writes
with　facility　；　but，　like　other　geniuses，　he　has　no　solid　learning。〃
He　looked　at　me　with　an　expression　that　seemed　to　ask　if　I　felt　the　blow。
But　it　did　not　produce　the　desired　effect　：　I　despise　a　man　who　can　think
and　act　in　such　a　manner。　However　，　I　made　a　stand　，　and　answered　with
not　a　little　warmth。　The　count，　I　said　，　was　a　man　entitled　to　respect，
alike　for　his　character　and　his　acquirements。　I　had　never　met　a　person
whose　mind　was　stored　with　more　useful　and　extensive　knowledge，——　who
had　，　in　fact，　mastered　such　an　infinite　variety　of　subjects，　and　who
yet　retained　all　his　activity　for　the　details　of　ordinary　business。　This
was　altogether　beyond　his　prehension　；　and　I　took　my　leave，　lest
my　anger　should　be　too　highly　excited　by　some　new　absurdity　of　his。

　　And　you　are　to　blame　for　all　this　，　you　who　persuaded　me　to　bend
my　neck　to　this　yoke　by　preaching　a　life　of　activity　to　me。　If　the　man
who　plants　vegetables　，　and　carries　his　corn　to　town　on　market…days，
is　not　more　usefully　employed　than　I　am　，　then　let　me　work　ten　years
longer　at　the　galleys　to　which　I　am　now　chained。

　　Oh，　the　brilliant　wretchedness　，　the　weariness，　that　one　is　doomed
to　witness　among　the　silly　people　whom　we　meet　in　society　here！　The　ambition
of　rank　！　How　they　watch　，　how　they　toil，　to　gain　precedence　！　What
poor　and　contemptible　passions　are　displayed　in　their　utter　nakedness　！
We　have　a　woman　here，　for　example，　who　never　ceases　to　entertain　the
pany　with　accounts　of　her　family　and　her　estates。　Any　stranger　would
consider　her　a　silly　being，　whose　head　was　turned　by　her　pretensions
to　rank　and　property；　but　she　is　in　reality　even　more　ridiculous　，　the
daughter　of　a　mere　magistrate's　clerk　from　this　neighbourhood。　I　cannot
understand　how　human　beings　can　so　debase　themselves。

　　Every　day　I　observe　more　and　more　the　folly　of　judging　of　others　by
ourselves　；　and　I　have　so　much　trouble　with　myseif　，　and　my　own　heart
is　in　such　constant　agitation　，　that　I　am　well　content　to　let　others
pursue　their　own　course　，　if　they　only　allow　me　the　same　privilege。

　　What　provokes　me　most　is　the　unhappy　extent　to　which　distinctions
of　rank　are　carried。　I　know　perfectly　well　how　necessary　are　inequalities
of　condition，　and　I　am　sensible　of　the　advantages　I　myself　derive　therefrom
；　but　I　would　not　have　these　institutions　prove　a　barrier　to　the　small
chance　of　happiness　which　I　may　enjoy　on　this　earth。

　　I　have　lately　bee　acquainted　with　a　Miss　B　——，　a　very　agreeable
girl，　who　has　retained　her　natural　manners　in　the　midst　of　artificial
life。　Our　first　conversation　pleased　us　both　equally；　and，　at　taking
leave　，　I　requested　permission　to　visit　her。　She　consented　in　so　obliging
a　manner，　that　I　waited　with　impatience　for　the　arrival　of　the　happy
moment。　She　is　not　a　native　of　this　place　，　but　resides　here　with　her
aunt。　The　countenance　of　the　old　lady　is　not　prepossessing。　I