Sphere (深海圆疑) 原版小说-第62章

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re　a　real　problem。
Yet　the　truth　was　that　responsibility　began　with　each　individual　person；　and　the　choices　he　made。　Each　person　had　a　choice。
Well；　Norman　thought；　there　was　nothing　he　could　do　for　Harry　or　Beth　any　longer。　He　had　to　save　himself。
He　heard　a　deep　hum　as　the　generators　turned　on；　and　the　throb　of　the　propellors。　The　screen　flashed：
DEEPSTAR　III　…　PILOT　INSTRUMENTS　ACTIVATED
Here　we　go；　he　thought；　resting　his　hands　confidently　on　the　controls。　He　felt　the　submarine　respond　beneath　him。　〃Your　attention；　please。　Seventeen　minutes　and　counting。〃　Muddy　sediment　churned　up　around　the　canopy　as　the　screws　engaged；　and　then　the　little　submarine　slipped　out　from　beneath　the　dome。　It　was　just　like　driving　a　car；　he　thought。　There　was　nothing　to　it。
He　turned　in　a　slow　arc；　away　from　DH…7；　toward　DH…8。　He　was　twenty　feet　above　the　bottom；　high　enough　for　the　screws　to　clear　the　mud。
There　were　seventeen　minutes　left。　At　a　maximum　ascent　rate　of　6。6　feet　per　second…he　did　the　mental　calculation　quickly；　effortlessly…he　would　reach　the　surface　in　two　and　a　half　minutes。
There　was　plenty　of　time。
He　moved　the　submarine　close　to　DH…8。　The　exterior　＇＇344＇＇　habitat　floodlights　were　yellow　and　pale。　Power　must　be　dropping。　He　could　see　the　damage　to　the　cylinders…streams　of　bubbles　rising　from　the　weakened　A　and　B　Cylinders；　the　dents　in　the　D；　and　the　gaping　hole　in　E　Cyl；　which　was　flooded。　The　habitat　was　battered；　and　dying。
Why　had　he　e　so　close？　He　squinted　at　the　portholes；　then　realized　he　was　hoping　to　catch　sight　of　Harry　and　Beth；　one　last　time。　He　wanted　to　see　Harry；　unconscious　and　unresponsive。　He　wanted　to　see　Beth　standing　at　the　window；　shaking　her　fist　at　him　in　maniacal　rage。　He　wanted　confirmation　that　he　was　right　to　leave　them。
But　he　saw　only　the　fading　yellow　light　inside　the　habitat。　He　was　disappointed。
〃Norman。〃
〃Yes；　Beth。〃　He　felt　fortable　answering　her　now。　He　had　his　hands　on　the　controls　of　the　submarine；　ready　to　make　his　ascent。　There　was　nothing　she　could　do　to　him　now。　〃Norman；　you　really　are　a　son　of　a　bitch。〃
〃You　tried　to　kill　me；　Beth。〃
〃I　didn't　want　to　kill　you。　I　had　no　choice；　Norman。〃
〃Yeah；　well。　Me；　too。　I　have　no　choice。〃　As　he　spoke；　he　knew　he　was　right。　Better　for　one　person　to　survive。　Better　than　nothing。
〃You're　just　going　to　leave　us？〃
〃That's　right；　Beth。〃
His　hand　moved　to　the　ascent…rate　dial。　He　set　it　to　6。6　feet。　Ready　to　ascend。
〃You're　just　going　to　run　away？〃　He　heard　the　contempt　in　her　voice。
〃That's　right；　Beth。〃
〃You；　the　one　who　kept　talking　about　how　we　had　to　stay　together　down　here？〃
〃Sorry；　Beth。〃
〃You　must　be　very　afraid；　Norman。〃
〃I'm　not　afraid　at　all。〃　And　indeed　he　felt　strong　and　confident；　setting　the　controls；　preparing　for　his　ascent。　He　felt　better　than　he　had　felt　for　days。
〃Norman；〃　she　said。
〃Please　help　us。　Please。〃
Her　words　struck　him　at　some　deep　level；　arousing　feelings　＇＇345＇＇　of　caring；　of　professional　petence；　of　simple　human　kindness。　For　a　moment　he　felt　confusion；　his　strength　and　conviction　weakened。　But　then　he　got　a　grip　on　himself；　and　shook　his　head。　The　strength　flew　back　into　his　body。
〃Sorry；　Beth。　It's　too　late　for　that。〃
And　he　pressed　the　〃ASCEND〃　button；　heard　the　roar　as　the　ballast　tanks　blew；　and　Deepstar　III　swayed。　The　habitat　slipped　away　below　him；　and　he　started　toward　the　surface；　a　thousand　feet　above。


Black　water；　no　sense　of　movement　except　for　the　readings　on　the　glowing　green　instrument　panel。　He　began　to　review　the　events　in　his　mind；　as　if　he　were　already　facing　a　Navy　inquiry。　Had　he　done　the　right　thing；　leaving　the　others　behind？
Unquestionably；　he　had。　The　sphere　was　an　alien　object　which　gave　a　person　the　power　to　manifest　his　thoughts。　Well　and　good；　except　that　human　beings　had　a　split　in　their　brains；　a　split　in　their　mental　processes。　It　was　almost　as　if　men　had　two　brains。　The　conscious　brain　could　be　consciously　controlled；　and　presented　no　problem。　But　the　unconscious　brain；　wild　and　abandoned；　was　dangerous　and　destructive　when　its　impulses　were　manifested。
The　trouble　with　people　like　Harry　and　Beth　was　that　they　were　literally　unbalanced。　Their　conscious　brains　were　overdeveloped；　but　they　had　never　bothered　to　explore　their　unconscious。　That　was　the　difference　between　Norman　and　them。　As　a　psychologist；　Norman　had　some　acquaintance　with　his　unconscious。　It　held　no　surprises　for　him。
That　was　why　Harry　and　Beth　had　manifested　monsters；　but　Norman　had　not。　Norman　knew　his　unconscious。　No　monsters　awaited　him。
No。　Wrong。
He　was　startled　by　the　suddenness　of　the　thought；　the　abruptness　of　it。　Was　he　really　wrong？　He　considered　carefully；　and　decided　once　again　that　he　was　correct　after　all。　Beth　and　Harry　were　at　risk　from　the　products　of　their　＇＇346＇＇　unconscious；　but　Norman　was　not。　Norman　knew　himself；　the　others　did　not。
〃The　fears　unleashed　by　contact　with　a　new　life　form　are　not　understood。　The　most　likely　consequence　of　contact　is　absolute　terror。〃
The　statements　from　his　own　report　popped　into　his　head。　Why　should　he　think　of　them　now？　It　had　been　years　since　he　had　written　his　report。
〃Under　circumstances　of　extreme　terror；　people　make　decisions　poorly。〃
Yet　Norman　wasn't　afraid。　Far　from　it。　He　was　confident　and　strong。　He　had　a　plan；　he　was　carrying　it　out。　Why　should　he　even　think　of　that　report？　At　the　time；　he'd　agonized　over　it；　thinking　of　each　sentence。　。。。　Why　was　it　ing　to　mind　now？　It　troubled　him。
〃Your　attention；　please。　Sixteen　minutes　and　counting。〃　Norman　scanned　the　gauges　before　him。　He　was　at　nine　hundred　feet；　rising　swiftly。　There　was　no　turning　back　now。　Why　should　he　even　think　of　turning　back？
Why　should　it　enter　his　mind？
As　he　rose　silently　through　black　water；　he　increasingly　felt　a　kind　of　split　inside　himself；　an　almost　schizophrenic　internal　division。　Something　was　wrong；　he　sensed。　There　was　something　he　hadn't　considered　yet。
But　what　could　he　have　overlooked？　Nothing；　he　decided；　because；　unlike　Beth　and　Harry；　I　am　fully　conscious；　I　am　aware　of　everything　that　is　happening　inside　me。
Except　Norman　didn't　really　believe　that。　plete　awareness　might　be　a　philosophical　goal；　but　it　was　not　really　attainable。　Consciousness　was　like　a　pebble　that　rippled　the　surface　of　the　unconscious。　As　consciousness　widened；　there　was　still　more　unconsciousness　beyond。　There　was　always　more；　just　beyond　reach。　Even　for　a　humanistic　psychologist。
Stein；　his　old　professor：　〃You　always　have　your　shadow。〃
What　was　Norman's　shadow　side　doing　now？　What　was　happening　in　the　unconscious；　denied　parts　of　his　own　brain？　Nothing。　Keep　going　up。
He　shifted　uneasily　in　the　pilot's　chair。　He　wanted　to　go　to　the　surface　so　badly；　he　felt　such　conviction。　。。。
＇＇347＇＇　I　hate　Beth。　I　hate　Harry。　I　hate　worrying　about　these　people；　caring　for　them。　I　don't　want　to　care　any　more。　It's　not　my　responsibility。　I　want　to　save　myself。　I　hate　them。　I　hate　them。
He　was　shocked。　Shocked　by　his　own　thoughts；　the　vehemence　of　them。
I　must　go　back；　he　thought。　If　I　go　back　I　will　die。
But　some　other　part　of　himself　was　growing　stronger　with　each　moment。　What　Beth　had　said　was　true：　Norman　had　been　the　one　who　kept　saying　that　they　had　to　stay　together；　to　work　together。　How　could　he　abandon　them　now？　He　couldn't。　It　was　against　everything　he　believed　in；　everything　that　was　important　and　human。
He　had　to　go　back。
I　am　afraid　to　go　back。
At　last；　he　thought。　There　it　is。　Fear　so　strong　he　had　denied　its　existence；　fear　that　had　caused　him　to　rationalize　abandoning　the　others。
He　pressed　the　controls；　halting　his　ascent。　As　he　started　back　down；　he　saw　that　his　hands　were　shaking。

0130　HOURS

The　sub　came　to　rest　gently　on　the　bottom　beside　the　habitat。　Norman　stepped　into　the　submarine　airlock；　flooded　the　chamber。　Moments　later；　he　climbed　down　the　side　and　walked　toward　the　habitat。　The　Tevac　explosives'　cones　with　their　blinking　red　lights　looked　oddly　festive。
〃Your　attention；　please。　Fourteen　minutes　and　counting。〃　He　estimated　the　time　he　would　need。　One　minute　to　get　inside。　Five；　maybe　six　minutes　to　dress　Beth　and　Harry　in　＇＇348＇＇　the　suits。　Another　four　minutes　to　reach　the　sub　and　get　them　aboard。　Two　or　three　minutes　to　make　the　ascent。
It　was　going　to　be　close。　He　moved　beneath　the　big　support　pylons；　under　the　habitat。
〃So　you　came　back；　Norman；〃　Beth　said；　over　the　inter。
〃Yes；　Beth。〃
〃Thank　God；〃　she　said。　She　started　to　cry。　He　was　beneath　A　Cyl；　hearing　her　sobs　over　the　inter。　He　found　the　hatch　cover；　spun　the　wheel　to　open　it。　It　was　locked　shut。
〃Beth；　open　the　hatch。〃
She　was　crying　over　the　inter。　She　didn't　answer　him。
〃Beth；　can　you　hear　me？　Open　the　hatch。〃
Crying　like　a　child；　sobbing　hysterically。　〃Norman；〃　she　said。　〃Please　help　me。　Please。〃
〃I'm　trying　to　help　you；　Beth。　Open　the　hatch。〃
〃I　can't。〃
〃What　do　you　mean；　you　can't？〃
〃It　won't　do　any　good。〃
〃Beth；〃　he　said。　〃e　on；　now。。。　。〃
〃I　can't　do　it；　Norman。〃
〃Of　course　you　can。　Open　the　hatch；　Beth。〃
〃You　shouldn't　have　e　back；　Norman。〃
There　was　no　time　for　this　now。　〃Beth；　pull　yourself　together。　Open　the　hatch。〃
〃No；　Norman；　I　can't。〃
And　she　began　crying　again。


He　tried　all　the　hatches；　one　after　another。　B　Cyl；　locked。　C　Cyl；　locked。　D