The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第74章

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sky；　throwing　dark；　substantial　shadows；　but　themselves　majestic
and　dimly　present。　She；　like　glimmering　gossamer；　seemed　to　burn
among　them；　as　they　rose　like　cold　fires　to　the　silvery…bluish
air。　All　was　intangible；　a　burning　of　cold；　glimmering；
whitish…steely　fires。　He　was　afraid　of　the　great
moon…conflagration　of　the　cornstacks　rising　above　him。　His　heart
grew　smaller；　it　began　to　fuse　like　a　bead。　He　knew　he　would
die。

She　stood　for　some　moments　out　in　the　overwhelming　luminosity
of　the　moon。　She　seemed　a　beam　of　gleaming　power。　She　was　afraid
of　what　she　was。　Looking　at　him；　at　his　shadowy；　unreal；
wavering　presence　a　sudden　lust　seized　her；　to　lay　hold　of　him
and　tear　him　and　make　him　into　nothing。　Her　hands　and　wrists
felt　immeasurably　hard　and　strong；　like　blades。　He　waited　there
beside　her　like　a　shadow　which　she　wanted　to　dissipate；　destroy
as　the　moonlight　destroys　a　darkness；　annihilate；　have　done
with。　She　looked　at　him　and　her　face　gleamed　bright　and
inspired。　She　tempted　him。

And　an　obstinacy　in　him　made　him　put　his　arm　round　her　and
draw　her　to　the　shadow。　She　submitted：　let　him　try　what　he　could
do。　Let　him　try　what　he　could　do。　He　leaned　against　the　side　of
the　stack；　holding　her。　The　stack　stung　him　keenly　with　a
thousand　cold；　sharp　flames。　Still　obstinately　he　held　her。

And　timorously；　his　hands　went　over　her；　over　the　salt；
pact　brilliance　of　her　body。　If　he　could　but　have　her；　how　he
would　enjoy　her！　If　he　could　but　net　her　brilliant；　cold；
salt…burning　body　in　the　soft　iron　of　his　own　hands；　net　her；
capture　her；　hold　her　down；　how　madly　he　would　enjoy　her。　He
strove　subtly；　but　with　all　his　energy；　to　enclose　her；　to　have
her。　And　always　she　was　burning　and　brilliant　and　hard　as　salt；
and　deadly。　Yet　obstinately；　all　his　flesh　burning　and
corroding；　as　if　he　were　invaded　by　some　consuming；　scathing
poison；　still　he　persisted；　thinking　at　last　he　might　overe
her。　Even；　in　his　frenzy；　he　sought　for　her　mouth　with　his
mouth；　though　it　was　like　putting　his　face　into　some　awful
death。　She　yielded　to　him；　and　he　pressed　himself　upon　her　in
extremity；　his　soul　groaning　over　and　over：

〃Let　me　e……let　me　e。〃

She　took　him　in　the　kiss；　hard　her　kiss　seized　upon　him；　hard
and　fierce　and　burning　corrosive　as　the　moonlight。　She　seemed　to
be　destroying　him。　He　was　reeling；　summoning　all　his　strength　to
keep　his　kiss　upon　her；　to　keep　himself　in　the　kiss。

But　hard　and　fierce　she　had　fastened　upon　him；　cold　as　the
moon　and　burning　as　a　fierce　salt。　Till　gradually　his　warm；　soft
iron　yielded；　yielded；　and　she　was　there　fierce；　corrosive；
seething　with　his　destruction；　seething　like　some　cruel；
corrosive　salt　around　the　last　substance　of　his　being；
destroying　him；　destroying　him　in　the　kiss。　And　her　soul
crystallized　with　triumph；　and　his　soul　was　dissolved　with　agony
and　annihilation。　So　she　held　him　there；　the　victim；　consumed；
annihilated。　She　had　triumphed：　he　was　not　any　more。

Gradually　she　began　to　e　to　herself。　Gradually　a　sort　of
daytime　consciousness　came　back　to　her。　Suddenly　the　night　was
struck　back　into　its　old；　accustomed；　mild　reality。　Gradually
she　realized　that　the　night　was　mon　and　ordinary；　that　the
great；　blistering；　transcendent　night　did　not　really　exist。　She
was　overe　with　slow　horror。　Where　was　she？　What　was　this
nothingness　she　felt？　The　nothingness　was　Skrebensky。　Was　he
really　there？……who　was　he？　He　was　silent；　he　was　not　there。
What　had　happened？　Had　she　been　mad：　what　horrible　thing　had
possessed　her？　She　was　filled　with　overpowering　fear　of　herself；
overpowering　desire　that　it　should　not　be；　that　other　burning；
corrosive　self。　She　was　seized　with　a　frenzied　desire　that　what
had　been　should　never　be　remembered；　never　be　thought　of；　never
be　for　one　moment　allowed　possible。　She　denied　it　with　all　her
might。　With　all　her　might　she　turned　away　from　it。　She　was　good；
she　was　loving。　Her　heart　was　warm；　her　blood　was　dark　and　warm
and　soft。　She　laid　her　hand　caressively　on　Anton's　shoulder。

〃Isn't　it　lovely？〃　she　said；　softly；　coaxingly；　caressingly。
And　she　began　to　caress　him　to　life　again。　For　he　was　dead。　And
she　intended　that　he　should　never　know；　never　bee　aware　of
what　had　been。　She　would　bring　him　back　from　the　dead　without
leaving　him　one　trace　of　fact　to　remember　his　annihilation
by。

She　exerted　all　her　ordinary；　warm　self；　she　touched　him；　she
did　him　homage　of　loving　awareness。　And　gradually　he　came　back
to　her；　another　man。　She　was　soft　and　winning　and　caressing。　She
was　his　servant；　his　adoring　slave。　And　she　restored　the　whole
shell　of　him。　She　restored　the　whole　form　and　figure　of　him。　But
the　core　was　gone。　His　pride　was　bolstered　up；　his　blood　ran
once　more　in　pride。　But　there　was　no　core　to　him：　as　a　distinct
male　he　had　no　core。　His　triumphant；　flaming；　overweening　heart
of　the　intrinsic　male　would　never　beat　again。　He　would　be
subject　now；　reciprocal；　never　the　indomitable　thing　with　a　core
of　overweening；　unabateable　fire。　She　had　abated　that　fire；　she
had　broken　him。

But　she　caressed　him。　She　would　not　have　him　remember　what
had　been。　She　would　not　remember　herself。

〃Kiss　me；　Anton；　kiss　me；〃　she　pleaded。

He　kissed　her；　but　she　knew　he　could　not　touch　her。　His　arms
were　round　her；　but　they　had　not　got　her。　She　could　feel　his
mouth　upon　her；　but　she　was　not　at　all　pelled　by　it。

〃Kiss　me；〃　she　whispered；　in　acute　distress；　〃kiss　me。〃

And　he　kissed　her　as　she　bade　him；　but　his　heart　was　hollow。
She　took　his　kisses；　outwardly。　But　her　soul　was　empty　and
finished。

Looking　away；　she　saw　the　delicate　glint　of　oats　dangling
from　the　side　of　the　stack；　in　the　moonlight；　something　proud
and　royal；　and　quite　impersonal。　She　had　been　proud　with　them；
where　they　were；　she　had　been　also。　But　in　this　temporary　warm
world　of　the　monplace；　she　was　a　kind；　good　girl。　She　reached
out　yearningly　for　goodness　and　affection。　She　wanted　to　be　kind
and　good。

They　went　home　through　the　night　that　was　all　pale　and
glowing　around；　with　shadows　and　glimmerings　and　presences。
Distinctly；　she　saw　the　flowers　in　the　hedge…bottoms；　she　saw
the　thin；　raked　sheaves　flung　white　upon　the　thorny　hedge。

How　beautiful；　how　beautiful　it　was！　She　thought　with　anguish
how　wildly　happy　she　was　to…night；　since　he　had　kissed　her。　But
as　he　walked　with　his　arm　round　her　waist；　she　turned　with　a
great　offering　of　herself　to　the　night　that　glistened
tremendous；　a　magnificent　godly　moon　white　and　candid　as　a
bridegroom；　flowers　silvery　and　transformed　filling　up　the
shadows。

He　kissed　her　again；　under　the　yew　trees　at　home；　and　she
left　him。　She　ran　from　the　intrusion　of　her　parents　at　home；　to
her　bedroom；　where；　looking　out　on　the　moonlit　country；　she
stretched　up　her　arms；　hard；　hard；　in　bliss；　agony　offering
herself　to　the　blond；　debonair　presence　of　the　night。

But　there　was　a　wound　of　sorrow；　she　had　hurt　herself；　as　if
she　had　bruised　herself；　in　annihilating　him。　She　covered　up　her
two　young　breasts　with　her　hands；　covering　them　to　herself；　and
covering　herself　with　herself；　she　crouched　in　bed；　to
sleep。

In　the　morning　the　sun　shone；　she　got　up　strong　and　dancing。
Skrebensky　was　still　at　the　Marsh。　He　was　ing　to　church。　How
lovely；　how　amazing　life　was！　On　the　fresh　Sunday　morning　she
went　out　to　the　garden；　among　the　yellows　and　the　deep…vibrating
reds　of　autumn；　she　smelled　the　earth　and　felt　the　gossamer；　the
cornfields　across　the　country　were　pale　and　unreal；　everywhere
was　the　intense　silence　of　the　Sunday　morning；　filled　with
unacquainted　noises。　She　smelled　the　body　of　the　earth；　it
seemed　to　stir　its　powerful　flank　beneath　her　as　she　stood。　In
the　bluish　air　came　the　powerful　exudation；　the　peace　was　the
peace　of　strong；　exhausted　breathing；　the　reds　and　yellows　and
the　white　gleam　of　stubble　otion　of　the
last　subsiding　transports　and　clear　bliss　of　fulfilment。

The　church…bells　were　ringing　when　he　came。　She　looked　up　in
keen　anticipation　at　his　entry。　But　he　was　troubled　and　his
pride　was　hurt。　He　seemed　very　much　clothed；　she　was　conscious
of　his　tailored　suit。

〃Wasn't　it　lovely　last　night？〃　she　whispered　to　him。

〃Yes；〃　he　said。　But　his　face　did　not　open　nor　bee
free。

The　service　and　the　singing　in　church　that　morning　passed
unnoticed　by　her。　She　saw　the　coloured　glow　of　the　windows；　the
forms　of　the　worshippers。　Only　she　glanced　at　the　book　of
Genesis；　which　was　her　favourite　book　in　the　Bible。

〃And　God　blessed　Noah　and　his　sons；　and　said　unto　them；　Be
fruitful　and　multiply　and　replenish　the　earth。

〃And　the　fear　of　you　and　the　dread　of　you　shall　be　upon　every
beast　of　the　earth；　and　upon　every　fowl　of　the　air；　upon　all
that　moveth　upon　the　earth；　and　upon　all　the　fishes　in　the　sea；
into　your　hand　are　they　delivered。

〃Every　moving　thing　that　liveth　shall　be　meat　for　you；　even
as　the　green　herb　have　I　given　you　all　things。〃

But　Ursula　was　not　moved　by　the　history　this　morning。
Multiplying　and　replenishing　the　earth　bored　her。　Altogether　it
seemed　merely　a　vulgar　and　stock…raising　sort　of　business。　She
an's　stock…breeding　lordship　over　beast
and　fishes。

〃And　you；　be　ye　fruitful　and　multiply；　bring　forth