The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第68章

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〃I　am　floppy；〃　he　answered。

〃Can't　you　stop？〃　asked　Gudrun。

〃No……it's　the　perpetuum　mobile。〃

〃You　look　as　if　you　hadn't　a　bone　in　your　body。〃

〃That's　how　I　like　to　feel。〃

〃I　don't　admire　your　taste。〃

〃That's　my　misfortune。〃

And　he　rocked　on。

Gudrun　seated　herself　behind　him；　and　as　he　rocked　back；　she
caught　his　hair　between　her　finger　and　thumb；　so　that　it　tugged
him　as　he　swung　forward　again。　He　took　no　notice。　There　was　only
the　sound　of　the　rockers　on　the　floor。　In　silence；　like　a　crab；
Gudrun　caught　a　strand　of　his　hair　each　time　he　rocked　back。
Ursula　flushed；　and　sat　in　some　pain。　She　saw　the　irritation
gathering　on　his　brow。

At　last　he　leapt　up；　suddenly；　like　a　steel　spring　going　off；
and　stood　on　the　hearthrug。

〃Damn　it；　why　can't　I　rock？〃　he　asked　petulantly；
fiercely。

Ursula　loved　him　for　his　sudden；　steel…like　start　out　of　the
languor。　He　stood　on　the　hearthrug　fuming；　his　eyes　gleaming
with　anger。

Gudrun　laughed　in　her　deep；　mellow　fashion。

〃Men　don't　rock　themselves；〃　she　said。

〃Girls　don't　pull　men's　hair；〃　he　said。

Gudrun　laughed　again。

Ursula　sat　amused；　but　waiting。　And　he　knew　Ursula　was
waiting　for　him。　It　roused　his　blood。　He　had　to　go　to　her；　to
follow　her　call。

Once　he　drove　her　to　Derby　in　the　dog…cart。　He　belonged　to
the　horsey　set　of　the　sappers。　They　had　lunch　in　an　inn；　and
went　through　the　market；　pleased　with　everything。　He　bought　her
a　copy　of　Wuthering　Heights　from　a　bookstall。　Then　they　found　a
little　fair　in　progress　and　she　said：

〃My　father　used　to　take　me　in　the　swingboats。〃

〃Did　you　like　it？〃　he　asked。

〃Oh；　it　was　fine；〃　she　said。

〃Would　you　like　to　go　now？〃

〃Love　it；〃　she　said；　though　she　was　afraid。　But　the　prospect
of　doing　an　unusual；　exciting　thing　was　attractive　to　her。

He　went　straight　to　the　stand；　paid　the　money；　and　helped　her
to　mount。　He　seemed　to　ignore　everything　but　just　what　he　was
doing。　Other　people　were　mere　objects　of　indifference　to　him。
She　would　have　liked　to　hang　back；　but　she　was　more　ashamed　to
retreat　from　him　than　to　expose　herself　to　the　crowd　or　to　dare
the　swingboat。　His　eyes　laughed；　and　standing　before　her　with
his　sharp；　sudden　figure；　he　set　the　boat　swinging。　She　was　not
afraid；　she　was　thrilled。　His　colour　flushed；　his　eyes　shone
with　a　roused　light；　and　she　looked　up　at　him；　her　face　like　a
flower　in　the　sun；　so　bright　and　attractive。　So　they　rushed
through　the　bright　air；　up　at　the　sky　as　if　flung　from　a
catapult；　then　falling　terribly　back。　She　loved　it。　The　motion
seemed　to　fan　their　blood　to　fire；　they　laughed；　feeling　the
flames。

After　the　swingboats；　they　went　on　the　roundabouts　to　calm
down；　he　twisting　astride　on　his　jerky　wooden　steed　towards　her；
and　always　seeming　at　his　ease；　enjoying　himself。　A　zest　of
antagonism　to　the　convention　made　him　fully　himself。　As　they　sat
on　the　whirling　carousal；　with　the　music　grinding　out；　she　was
aware　of　the　people　on　the　earth　outside；　and　it　seemed　that　he
and　she　were　riding　carelessly　over　the　faces　of　the　crowd；
riding　for　ever　buoyantly；　proudly；　gallantly　over　the　upturned
faces　of　the　crowd；　moving　on　a　high　level；　spurning　the　mon
mass。

When　they　must　descend　and　walk　away；　she　was　unhappy；
feeling　like　a　giant　suddenly　cut　down　to　ordinary　level；　at　the
mercy　of　the　mob。

They　left　the　fair；　to　return　for　the　dog…cart。　Passing　the
large　church；　Ursula　must　look　in。　But　the　whole　interior　was
filled　with　scaffolding；　fallen　stone　and　rubbish　were　heaped　on
the　floor；　bits　of　plaster　crunched　underfoot；　and　the　place
re…echoed　to　the　calling　of　secular　voices　and　to　blows　of　the
hammer。

She　had　e　to　plunge　in　the　utter　gloom　and　peace　for　a
moment；　bringing　all　her　yearning；　that　had　returned　on　her
uncontrolled　after　the　reckless　riding　over　the　face　of　the
crowd；　in　the　fair。　After　pride；　she　wanted　fort；　solace；　for
pride　and　scorn　seemed　to　hurt　her　most　of　all。

And　she　found　the　immemorial　gloom　full　of　bits　of　falling
plaster；　and　dust　of　floating　plaster；　smelling　of　old　lime；
having　scaffolding　and　rubbish　heaped　about；　dust　cloths　over
the　altar。

〃Let　us　sit　down　a　minute；〃　she　said。

They　sat　unnoticed　in　the　back　pew；　in　the　gloom；　and　she
watched　the　dirty；　disorderly　work　of　bricklayers　and
plasterers。　Workmen　in　heavy　boots　walking　grinding　down　the
aisles；　calling　out　in　a　vulgar　accent：

〃Hi；　mate；　has　them　corner　mouldin's　e？〃

There　were　shouts　of　coarse　answer　from　the　roof　of　the
church。　The　place　echoed　desolate。

Skrebensky　sat　close　to　her。　Everything　seemed　wonderful；　if
dreadful　to　her；　the　world　tumbling　into　ruins；　and　she　and　he
clambering　unhurt；　lawless　over　the　face　of　it　all。　He　sat　close
to　her；　touching　her；　and　she　was　aware　of　his　influence　upon
her。　But　she　was　glad。　It　excited　her　to　feel　the　press　of　him
upon　her；　as　if　his　being　were　urging　her　to　something。

As　they　drove　home；　he　sat　near　to　her。　And　when　he　swayed　to
the　cart；　he　swayed　in　a　voluptuous；　lingering　way；　against　her；
lingering　as　he　swung　away　to　recover　balance。　Without　speaking；
he　took　her　hand　across；　under　the　wrap；　and　with　his　unseeing
face　lifted　to　the　road；　his　soul　intent；　he　began　with　his　one
hand　to　unfasten　the　buttons　of　her　glove；　to　push　back　her
glove　from　her　hand；　carefully　laying　bare　her　hand。　And　the
close…working；　instinctive　subtlety　of　his　fingers　upon　her　hand
sent　the　young　girl　mad　with　voluptuous　delight。　His　hand　was　so
wonderful；　intent　as　a　living　creature　skilfully　pushing　and
manipulating　in　the　dark　underworld；　removing　her　glove　and
laying　bare　her　palm；　her　fingers。　Then　his　hand　closed　over
hers；　so　firm；　so　close；　as　if　the　flesh　knitted　to　one　thing
his　hand　and　hers。　Meanwhile　his　face　watched　the　road　and　the
ears　of　the　horse；　he　drove　with　steady　attention　through　the
villages；　and　she　sat　beside　him；　rapt；　glowing；　blinded　with　a
new　light。　Neither　of　them　spoke。　In　outward　attention　they　were
entirely　separate。　But　between　them　was　the　pact　of　his　flesh
with　hers；　in　the　hand…clasp。

Then；　in　a　strange　voice；　affecting　nonchalance　and
superficiality　he　said　to　her：

〃Sitting　in　the　church　there　reminded　me　of　Ingram。〃

〃Who　is　Ingram？〃　she　asked。

She　also　affected　calm　superficiality。　But　she　knew　that
something　forbidden　was　ing。

〃He　is　one　of　the　other　men　with　me　down　at　Chatham……a
subaltern……but　a　year　older　than　I　am。〃

〃And　why　did　the　church　remind　you　of　him？〃

〃Well；　he　had　a　girl　in　Rochester；　and　they　always　sat　in　a
particular　corner　in　the　cathedral　for　their　love…making。〃

〃How　nice！〃　she　cried；　impulsively。

They　misunderstood　each　other。

〃It　had　its　disadvantages　though。　The　verger　made　a　row　about
it。〃

〃What　a　shame！　Why　shouldn't　they　sit　in　a　cathedral？〃

〃I　suppose　they　all　think　it　a　profanity……except　you　and
Ingram　and　the　girl。〃

〃I　don't　think　it　a　profanity……I　think　it's　right；　to
make　love　in　a　cathedral。〃

She　said　this　almost　defiantly；　in　despite　of　her　own
soul。

He　was　silent。

〃And　was　she　nice？〃

〃Who？　Emily？　Yes；　she　was　rather　nice。　She　was　a　milliner；
and　she　wouldn't　be　seen　in　the　streets　with　Ingram。　It　was
rather　sad；　really；　because　the　verger　spied　on　them；　and　got　to
know　their　names　and　then　made　a　regular　row。　It　was　a　mon
tale　afterwards。〃

〃What　did　she　do？〃

〃She　went　to　London；　into　a　big　shop。　Ingram　still　goes　up　to
see　her。〃

〃Does　he　love　her？〃

〃It's　a　year　and　a　half　he's　been　with　her　now。〃

〃What　was　she　like？〃

〃Emily？　Little；　shy…violet　sort　of　girl　with　nice
eyebrows。〃

Ursula　meditated　this。　It　seemed　like　real　romance　of　the
outer　world。

〃Do　all　men　have　lovers？〃　she　asked；　amazed　at　her　own
temerity。　But　her　hand　was　still　fastened　with　his；　and　his　face
still　had　the　same　unchanging　fixity　of　outward　calm。

〃They're　always　mentioning　some　amazing　fine　woman　or　other；
and　getting　drunk　to　talk　about　her。　Most　of　them　dash　up　to
London　the　moment　they　are　free。〃

〃What　for？〃

〃To　some　amazing　fine　woman　or　other。〃

〃What　sort　of　woman？〃

〃Various。　Her　name　changes　pretty　frequently；　as　a　rule。　One
of　the　fellows　is　a　perfect　maniac。　He　keeps　a　suit…case　always
ready；　and　the　instant　he　is　at　liberty；　he　bolts　with　it　to　the
station；　and　changes　in　the　train。　No　matter　who　is　in　the
carriage；　off　he　whips　his　tunic；　and　performs　at　least　the　top
half　of　his　toilet。〃

Ursula　quivered　and　wondered。

〃Why　is　he　in　such　a　hurry？〃　she　asked。

Her　throat　was　being　hard　and　difficult。

〃He's　got　a　woman　in　his　mind；　I　suppose。〃

She　was　chilled；　hardened。　And　yet　this　world　of　passions　and
lawlessness　was　fascinating　to　her。　It　seemed　to　her　a　splendid
recklessness。　Her　adventure　in　life　was　beginning。　It　seemed
very　splendid。

That　evening　she　stayed　at　the　Marsh　till　after　dark；　and
Skrebensky　escorted　her　home。　For　she　could　not　go　away　from
him。　And　she　was　waiting；　waiting　for　something　more。

In　the　warm　of　the　early　night；　with　the　shadows　new　about
them；　she　felt　in　another；　harder；　more　beautiful；　less　personal
world。　Now　a　new　state　should　e　to　pass。

He　walked　near　to　her；　and　with　the　same；　silent；　intent
ap