The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第53章

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She　rose　in　silence；　as　if　acting　without　a　mind；　merely
physically。　He　seemed　to　hold　her　in　his　will。　Outside　it　was
still　raining。

〃Let's　have　a　walk；〃　he　said。　〃I　don't　mind　the　rain；　do
you？〃

〃No；　I　don't　mind　it；〃　she　said。

He　was　alert　in　every　sense　and　fibre；　and　yet　quite　sure　and
steady；　and　lit　up；　as　if　transfused。　He　had　a　free　sensation　of
walking　in　his　own　darkness；　not　in　anybody　else's　world　at　all。
He　was　purely　a　world　to　himself；　he　had　nothing　to　do　with　any
general　consciousness。　Just　his　own　senses　were　supreme。　All　the
rest　was　external；　insignificant；　leaving　him　alone　with　this
girl　whom　he　wanted　to　absorb；　whose　properties　he　wanted　to
absorb　into　his　own　senses。　He　did　not　care　about　her；　except
that　he　wanted　to　overe　her　resistance；　to　have　her　in　his
power；　fully　and　exhaustively　to　enjoy　her。

They　turned　into　the　dark　streets。　He　held　her　umbrella　over
her；　and　put　his　arm　round　her。　She　walked　as　if　she　were
unaware。　But　gradually；　as　he　walked；　he　drew　her　a　little
closer；　into　the　movement　of　his　side　and　hip。　She　fitted　in
there　very　well。　It　was　a　real　good　fit；　to　walk　with　her　like
this。　It　made　him　exquisitely　aware　of　his　own　muscular　self。
And　his　hand　that　grasped　her　side　felt　one　curve　of　her；　and　it
seemed　like　a　new　creation　to　him；　a　reality；　an　absolute；　an
existing　tangible　beauty　of　the　absolute。　It　was　like　a　star。
Everything　in　him　was　absorbed　in　the　sensual　delight　of　this
one　small；　firm　curve　in　her　body；　that　his　hand；　and　his　whole
being；　had　lighted　upon。

He　led　her　into　the　Park；　where　it　was　almost　dark。　He
noticed　a　corner　between　two　walls；　under　a　great　overhanging
bush　of　ivy。

〃Let　us　stand　here　a　minute；〃　he　said。

He　put　down　the　umbrella；　and　followed　her　into　the　corner；
retreating　out　of　the　rain。　He　needed　no　eyes　to　see。　All　he
wanted　was　to　know　through　touch。　She　was　like　a　piece　of
palpable　darkness。　He　found　her　in　the　darkness；　put　his　arms
round　her　and　his　hands　upon　her。　She　was　silent　and
inscrutable。　But　he　did　not　want　to　know　anything　about　her；　he
only　wanted　to　discover　her。　And　through　her　clothing；　what
absolute　beauty　he　touched。

〃Take　your　hat　off；〃　he　said。

Silently；　obediently；　she　shook　off　her　hat　and　gave　herself
to　his　arms　again。　He　liked　her……he　liked　the　feel　of
her……he　wanted　to　know　her　more　closely。　He　let　his　fingers
subtly　seek　out　her　cheek　and　neck。　What　amazing　beauty　and
pleasure；　in　the　dark！　His　fingers　had　often　touched　Anna　on　the
face　and　neck　like　that。　What　matter！　It　was　one　man　who　touched
Anna；　another　who　now　touched　this　girl。　He　liked　best　his　new
self。　He　was　given　over　altogether　to　the　sensuous　knowledge　of
this　woman；　and　every　moment　he　seemed　to　be　touching　absolute
beauty；　something　beyond　knowledge。

Very　close；　marvelling　and　exceedingly　joyful　in　their
discoveries；　his　hands　pressed　upon　her；　so　subtly；　so
seekingly；　so　finely　and　desirously　searching　her　out；　that　she
too　was　almost　swooning　in　the　absolute　of　sensual　knowledge。　In
utter　sensual　delight　she　clenched　her　knees；　her　thighs；　her
loins　together！　It　was　an　added　beauty　to　him。

But　he　was　patiently　working　for　her　relaxation；　patiently；
his　whole　being　fixed　in　the　smile　of　latent　gratification；　his
whole　body　electric　with　a　subtle；　powerful；　reducing　force　upon
her。　So　he　came　at　length　to　kiss　her；　and　she　was　almost
betrayed　by　his　insidious　kiss。　Her　open　mouth　was　too　helpless
and　unguarded。　He　knew　this；　and　his　first　kiss　was　very　gentle；
and　soft；　and　assuring；　so　assuring。　So　that　her　soft；
defenseless　mouth　became　assured；　even　bold；　seeking　upon　his
mouth。　And　he　answered　her　gradually；　gradually；　his　soft　kiss
sinking　in　softly；　softly；　but　ever　more　heavily；　more　heavily
yet；　till　it　was　too　heavy　for　her　to　meet；　and　she　began　to
sink　under　it。　She　was　sinking；　sinking；　his　smile　of　latent
gratification　was　being　more　tense；　he　was　sure　of　her。　He
let　the　whole　force　of　his　will　sink　upon　her　to　sweep　her　away。
But　it　was　too　great　a　shock　for　her。　With　a　sudden　horrible
movement　she　ruptured　the　state　that　contained　them　both。

〃Don't……don't！〃

It　was　a　rather　horrible　cry　that　seemed　to　e　out　of　her；
not　to　belong　to　her。　It　was　some　strange　agony　of　terror　crying
out　the　words。　There　was　something　vibrating　and　beside　herself
in　the　noise。　His　nerves　ripped　like　silk。

〃What's　the　matter？〃　he　said；　as　if　calmly。　〃What's　the
matter？〃

She　came　back　to　him；　but　trembling；　reservedly　this
time。

Her　cry　had　given　him　gratification。　But　he　knew　he　had　been
too　sudden　for　her。　He　was　now　careful。　For　a　while　he　merely
sheltered　her。　Also　there　had　broken　a　flaw　into　his　perfect
will。　He　wanted　to　persist；　to　begin　again；　to　lead　up　to　the
point　where　he　had　let　himself　go　on　her；　and　then　manage　more
carefully；　successfully。　So　far　she　had　won。　And　the　battle　was
not　over　yet。　But　another　voice　woke　in　him　and　prompted　him　to
let　her　go……let　her　go　in　contempt。

He　sheltered　her；　and　soothed　her；　and　caressed　her；　and
kissed　her；　and　again　began　to　e　nearer；　nearer。　He　gathered
himself　together。　Even　if　he　did　not　take　her；　he　would　make　her
relax；　he　would　fuse　away　her　resistance。　So　softly；　softly；
with　infinite　caressiveness　he　kissed　her；　and　the　whole　of　his
being　seemed　to　fondle　her。　Till；　at　the　verge；　swooning　at　the
breaking　point；　there　came　from　her　a　beaten；　inarticulate；
moaning　cry：

〃Don't……oh；　don't！〃

His　veins　fused　with　extreme　voluptuousness。　For　a　moment　he
almost　lost　control　of　himself；　and　continued　automatically。　But
there　was　a　moment　of　inaction；　of　cold　suspension。　He　was　not
going　to　take　her。　He　drew　her　to　him　and　soothed　her；　and
caressed　her。　But　the　pure　zest　had　gone。　She　struggled　to
herself　and　realized　he　was　not　going　to　take　her。　And　then；　at
the　very　last　moment；　when　his　fondling　had　e　near　again；　his
hot　living　desire　despising　her；　against　his　cold　sensual
desire；　she　broke　violently　away　from　him。

〃Don't；〃　she　cried；　harsh　now　with　hatred；　and　she　flung　her
hand　across　and　hit　him　violently。　〃Keep　off　of　me。〃

His　blood　stood　still　for　a　moment。　Then　the　smile　came　again
within　him；　steady；　cruel。

〃Why；　what's　the　matter？〃　he　said；　with　suave　irony。
〃Nobody's　going　to　hurt　you。〃

〃I　know　what　you　want；〃　she　said。

〃I　know　what　I　want；〃　he　said。　〃What's　the　odds？〃

〃Well；　you're　not　going　to　have　it　off　me。〃

〃Aren't　I？　Well；　then　I'm　not。　It's　no　use　crying　about　it；
is　it？〃

〃No；　it　isn't；〃　said　the　girl；　rather　disconcerted　by　his
irony。

〃But　there's　no　need　to　have　a　row　about　it。　We　can　kiss　good
night　just　the　same；　can't　we？〃

She　was　silent　in　the　darkness。

〃Or　do　you　want　your　hat　and　umbrella　to　go　home　this
minute？〃

Still　she　was　silent。　He　watched　her　dark　figure　as　she　stood
there　on　the　edge　of　the　faint　darkness；　and　he　waited。

〃e　and　say　good　night　nicely；　if　we're　going　to　say　it；〃
he　said。

Still　she　did　not　stir。　He　put　his　hand　out　and　drew　her　into
the　darkness　again。

〃It's　warmer　in　here；〃　he　said；　〃a　lot　cosier。〃

His　will　had　not　yet　relaxed　from　her。　The　moment　of　hatred
exhilarated　him。

〃I'm　going　now；〃　she　muttered；　as　he　closed　his　hand　over
her。

〃See　how　well　you　fit　your　place；〃　he　said；　as　he　drew　her　to
her　previous　position；　close　upon　him。　〃What　do　you　want　to
leave　it　for？〃

And　gradually　the　intoxication　invaded　him　again；　the　zest
came　back。　After　all；　why　should　he　not　take　her？

But　she　did　not　yield　to　him　entirely。

〃Are　you　a　married　man？〃　she　asked　at　length。

〃What　if　I　am？〃　he　said。

She　did　not　answer。

〃I　don't　ask　you　whether　you're　married　or　not；〃　he
said。

〃You　know　jolly　well　I'm　not；〃　she　answered　hotly。　Oh；
if　she　could　only　break　away　from　him；　if　only　she　need　not
yield　to　him。

At　length　her　will　became　cold　against　him。　She　had　escaped。
But　she　hated　him　for　her　escape　more　than　for　her　danger。　Did
he　despise　her　so　coldly？　And　she　was　in　torture　of　adherence　to
him　still。

〃Shall　I　see　you　next　week……next　Saturday？〃　he　said；　as
they　returned　to　the　town。　She　did　not　answer。

〃e　to　the　Empire　with　me……you　and　Gertie；〃　he
said。

〃I　should　look　well；　going　with　a　married　man；〃　she　said。

〃I'm　no　less　of　a　man　for　being　married；　am　I？〃　he　said。

〃Oh；　it's　a　different　matter　altogether　with　a　married　man；〃
she　said；　in　a　ready…made　speech　that　showed　her　chagrin。

〃How's　that？〃　he　asked。

But　she　would　not　enlighten　him。　Yet　she　promised；　without
promising；　to　be　at　the　meeting…place　next　Saturday　evening。

So　he　left　her。　He　did　not　know　her　name。　He　caught　a　train
and　went　home。

It　was　the　last　train；　he　was　very　late。　He　was　not　home　till
midnight。　But　he　was　quite　indifferent。　He　had　no　real　relation
with　his　home；　not　this　man　which　he　now　was。　Anna　was　sitting
up　for　him。　She　saw　the　queer；　absolved　look　on　his　face；　a　sort
of　latent；　almost　sinister　smile；　as　if　he　were　absolved　from
his　〃good〃　ties。

〃Where　have　you　been？〃　she　asked；　puzzled；　interested。

〃To　the　Empire。〃

〃Who　with？〃

〃By　myself。　I　came　home　with　Tom　Cooper。〃

She　looked　at　him；　and　wondered　what　he　had　b