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have¡¡the¡¡spiritual¡¡superiority¡¡and¡¡control£»¡¡or¡¡even¡¡her¡¡respect
for¡¡his¡¡conscious¡¡or¡¡public¡¡life¡£¡¡He¡¡lived¡¡simply¡¡by¡¡her
physical¡¡love¡¡for¡¡him¡£¡¡And¡¡he¡¡served¡¡the¡¡little¡¡matriarchy£»
nursing¡¡the¡¡child¡¡and¡¡helping¡¡with¡¡the¡¡housework£»¡¡indifferent
any¡¡more¡¡of¡¡his¡¡own¡¡dignity¡¡and¡¡importance¡£¡¡But¡¡his¡¡abandoning
of¡¡claims£»¡¡his¡¡living¡¡isolated¡¡upon¡¡his¡¡own¡¡interest£»¡¡made¡¡him
seem¡¡unreal£»¡¡unimportant¡£

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to¡¡be¡¡indifferent¡¡to¡¡public¡¡life¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡not¡¡what¡¡is¡¡called¡¡a
manly¡¡man£º¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡drink¡¡or¡¡smoke¡¡or¡¡arrogate¡¡importance¡£¡¡But
he¡¡was¡¡her¡¡man£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡very¡¡indifference¡¡to¡¡all¡¡claims¡¡of
manliness¡¡set¡¡her¡¡supreme¡¡in¡¡her¡¡own¡¡world¡¡with¡¡him¡£¡¡Physically£»
she¡¡loved¡¡him¡¡and¡¡he¡¡satisfied¡¡her¡£¡¡He¡¡went¡¡alone¡¡and¡¡subsidiary
always¡£¡¡At¡¡first¡¡it¡¡had¡¡irritated¡¡her£»¡¡the¡¡outer¡¡world¡¡existed
so¡¡little¡¡to¡¡him¡£¡¡Looking¡¡at¡¡him¡¡with¡¡outside¡¡eyes£»¡¡she¡¡was
inclined¡¡to¡¡sneer¡¡at¡¡him¡£¡¡But¡¡her¡¡sneer¡¡changed¡¡to¡¡a¡¡sort¡¡of
respect¡£¡¡She¡¡respected¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡could¡¡serve¡¡her¡¡so¡¡simply
and¡¡pletely¡£¡¡Above¡¡all£»¡¡she¡¡loved¡¡to¡¡bear¡¡his¡¡children¡£¡¡She
loved¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡source¡¡of¡¡children¡£

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devotion¡¡to¡¡the¡¡church¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡the¡¡church¡¡building¡¡he¡¡cared¡¡for£»
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movements¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡like¡¡a¡¡lover¡¡who¡¡knows¡¡he¡¡is¡¡betrayed£»¡¡but¡¡who
still¡¡loves£»¡¡whose¡¡love¡¡is¡¡only¡¡the¡¡more¡¡intense¡£¡¡The¡¡church¡¡was
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monopolized¡¡the¡¡baby¡£¡¡But¡¡his¡¡heart¡¡waited¡¡in¡¡its¡¡darkness¡£¡¡His
hour¡¡would¡¡e¡£

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to¡¡the¡¡spirit¡¡of¡¡her¡¡laws£»¡¡whilst¡¡leaving¡¡him¡¡the¡¡letter¡¡of¡¡his
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everything¡¡that¡¡had¡¡to¡¡do¡¡with¡¡him¡£¡¡She¡¡could¡¡feel¡¡herself£»
everything£»¡¡being¡¡annihilated¡¡by¡¡him¡£

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kneel¡¡down¡¡to¡¡say¡¡his¡¡prayers¡£¡¡She¡¡looked¡¡at¡¡his¡¡crouching
figure¡£

¡¨Why¡¡are¡¡you¡¡kneeling¡¡there£»¡¡pretending¡¡to¡¡pray£¿¡¨¡¡she¡¡said£»
harshly¡£¡¡¡¨Do¡¡you¡¡think¡¡anybody¡¡can¡¡pray£»¡¡when¡¡they¡¡are¡¡in¡¡the
vile¡¡temper¡¡you¡¡are¡¡in£¿¡¨

He¡¡remained¡¡crouching¡¡by¡¡the¡¡beside£»¡¡motionless¡£

¡¨It's¡¡horrible£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡continued£»¡¡¡¨and¡¡such¡¡a¡¡pretence£¡¡¡What¡¡do
you¡¡pretend¡¡you¡¡are¡¡saying£¿¡¡Who¡¡do¡¡you¡¡pretend¡¡you¡¡are¡¡praying
to£¿¡¨

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when¡¡his¡¡whole¡¡nature¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡disintegrate¡£¡¡He¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡live
with¡¡a¡¡strain¡¡upon¡¡himself£»¡¡and¡¡occasionally¡¡came¡¡these¡¡dark£»
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him£»¡¡and¡¡their¡¡fights¡¡were¡¡horrible£»¡¡murderous¡£¡¡And¡¡then¡¡the
passion¡¡between¡¡them¡¡came¡¡just¡¡as¡¡black¡¡and¡¡awful¡£

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with¡¡him£»¡¡it¡¡became¡¡quieter¡£

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Something¡¡undeveloped¡¡in¡¡him¡¡limited¡¡him£»¡¡there¡¡was¡¡a¡¡darkness
in¡¡him¡¡which¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡¡unfold£»¡¡which¡¡would¡¡never
unfold¡¡in¡¡him¡£



CHAPTER¡¡VIII

THE¡¡CHILD

From¡¡the¡¡first£»¡¡the¡¡baby¡¡stirred¡¡in¡¡the¡¡young¡¡father¡¡a
deep£»¡¡strong¡¡emotion¡¡he¡¡dared¡¡scarcely¡¡acknowledge£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡so
strong¡¡and¡¡came¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡dark¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡When¡¡he¡¡heard¡¡the¡¡child
cry£»¡¡a¡¡terror¡¡possessed¡¡him£»¡¡because¡¡of¡¡the¡¡answering¡¡echo¡¡from
the¡¡unfathomed¡¡distances¡¡in¡¡himself¡£¡¡Must¡¡he¡¡know¡¡in¡¡himself
such¡¡distances£»¡¡perilous¡¡and¡¡imminent£¿

He¡¡had¡¡the¡¡infant¡¡in¡¡his¡¡arms£»¡¡he¡¡walked¡¡backwards¡¡and
forwards¡¡troubled¡¡by¡¡the¡¡crying¡¡of¡¡his¡¡own¡¡flesh¡¡and¡¡blood¡£¡¡This
was¡¡his¡¡own¡¡flesh¡¡and¡¡blood¡¡crying£¡¡¡His¡¡soul¡¡rose¡¡against¡¡the
voice¡¡suddenly¡¡breaking¡¡out¡¡from¡¡him£»¡¡from¡¡the¡¡distances¡¡in
him¡£

Sometimes¡¡in¡¡the¡¡night£»¡¡the¡¡child¡¡cried¡¡and¡¡cried£»¡¡when¡¡the
night¡¡was¡¡heavy¡¡and¡¡sleep¡¡oppressed¡¡him¡£¡¡And¡¡half¡¡asleep£»¡¡he
stretched¡¡out¡¡his¡¡hand¡¡to¡¡put¡¡it¡¡over¡¡the¡¡baby's¡¡face¡¡to¡¡stop
the¡¡crying¡£¡¡But¡¡something¡¡arrested¡¡his¡¡hand£º¡¡the¡¡very
inhumanness¡¡of¡¡the¡¡intolerable£»¡¡continuous¡¡crying¡¡arrested¡¡him¡£
It¡¡was¡¡so¡¡impersonal£»¡¡without¡¡cause¡¡or¡¡object¡£¡¡Yet¡¡he¡¡echoed¡¡to
it¡¡directly£»¡¡his¡¡soul¡¡answered¡¡its¡¡madness¡£¡¡It¡¡filled¡¡him¡¡with
terror£»¡¡almost¡¡with¡¡frenzy¡£

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obliterated¡¡sources¡¡which¡¡were¡¡the¡¡origin¡¡of¡¡his¡¡living¡¡tissue¡£
He¡¡was¡¡not¡¡what¡¡he¡¡conceived¡¡himself¡¡to¡¡be£¡¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡was¡¡what¡¡he
was£»¡¡unknown£»¡¡potent£»¡¡dark¡£

He¡¡became¡¡accustomed¡¡to¡¡the¡¡child£»¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡how¡¡to¡¡lift¡¡and
balance¡¡the¡¡little¡¡body¡£¡¡The¡¡baby¡¡had¡¡a¡¡beautiful£»¡¡rounded¡¡head
that¡¡moved¡¡him¡¡passionately¡£¡¡He¡¡would¡¡have¡¡fought¡¡to¡¡the¡¡last
drop¡¡to¡¡defend¡¡that¡¡exquisite£»¡¡perfect¡¡round¡¡head¡£

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unseeing£»¡¡golden¡­brown¡¡eyes£»¡¡the¡¡mouth¡¡that¡¡opened¡¡only¡¡to¡¡cry£»
or¡¡to¡¡suck£»¡¡or¡¡to¡¡show¡¡a¡¡queer£»¡¡toothless¡¡laugh¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡almost
understand¡¡even¡¡the¡¡dangling¡¡legs£»¡¡which¡¡at¡¡first¡¡had¡¡created¡¡in
him¡¡a¡¡feeling¡¡of¡¡aversion¡£¡¡They¡¡could¡¡kick¡¡in¡¡their¡¡queer¡¡little
way£»¡¡they¡¡had¡¡their¡¡own¡¡softness¡£

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naked¡¡in¡¡the¡¡mother's¡¡lap£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡sick£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡so¡¡utterly
helpless¡¡and¡¡vulnerable¡¡and¡¡extraneous£»¡¡in¡¡a¡¡world¡¡of¡¡hard
surfaces¡¡and¡¡varying¡¡altitudes£»¡¡it¡¡lay¡¡vulnerable¡¡and¡¡naked¡¡at
every¡¡point¡£¡¡Yet¡¡it¡¡was¡¡quite¡¡blithe¡£¡¡And¡¡yet£»¡¡in¡¡its¡¡blind£»
awful¡¡crying£»¡¡was¡¡there¡¡not¡¡the¡¡blind£»¡¡far¡­off¡¡terror¡¡of¡¡its¡¡own
vulnerable¡¡nakedness£»¡¡the¡¡terror¡¡of¡¡being¡¡so¡¡utterly¡¡delivered
over£»¡¡helpless¡¡at¡¡every¡¡point¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡not¡¡bear¡¡to¡¡hear¡¡it
crying¡£¡¡His¡¡heart¡¡strained¡¡and¡¡stood¡¡on¡¡guard¡¡against¡¡the¡¡whole
universe¡£

But¡¡he¡¡waited¡¡for¡¡the¡¡dread¡¡of¡¡these¡¡days¡¡to¡¡pass£»¡¡he¡¡saw¡¡the
joy¡¡ing¡£¡¡He¡¡saw¡¡the¡¡lovely£»¡¡creamy£»¡¡cool¡¡little¡¡ear¡¡of¡¡the
baby£»¡¡a¡¡bit¡¡of¡¡dark¡¡hair¡¡rubbed¡¡to¡¡a¡¡bronze¡¡floss£»¡¡like
bronze¡­dust¡£¡¡And¡¡he¡¡waited£»¡¡for¡¡the¡¡child¡¡to¡¡bee¡¡his£»¡¡to¡¡look
at¡¡him¡¡and¡¡answer¡¡him¡£

It¡¡had¡¡a¡¡separate¡¡being£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡was¡¡his¡¡own¡¡child¡£¡¡His¡¡flesh
and¡¡blood¡¡vibrated¡¡to¡¡it¡£¡¡He¡¡caught¡¡the¡¡baby¡¡to¡¡his¡¡breast¡¡with
his¡¡passionate£»¡¡clapping¡¡laugh¡£¡¡And¡¡the¡¡infant¡¡knew¡¡him¡£

As¡¡the¡¡newly¡­opened£»¡¡newly¡­dawned¡¡eyes¡¡looked¡¡at¡¡him£»¡¡he
wanted¡¡them¡¡to¡¡perceive¡¡him£»¡¡to¡¡recognize¡¡him¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡was
verified¡£¡¡The¡¡child¡¡knew¡¡him£»¡¡a¡¡queer¡¡contortion¡¡of¡¡laughter
came¡¡on¡¡its¡¡face¡¡for¡¡him¡£¡¡He¡¡caught¡¡it¡¡to¡¡his¡¡breast£»¡¡clapping
with¡¡a¡¡triumphant¡¡laugh¡£

The¡¡golden¡­brown¡¡eyes¡¡of¡¡the¡¡child¡¡gradually¡¡lit¡¡up¡¡and
dilated¡¡at¡¡the¡¡sight¡¡of¡¡the¡¡dark¡­glowing¡¡face¡¡of¡¡the¡¡youth¡£¡¡It
knew¡¡its¡¡mother¡¡better£»¡¡it¡¡wanted¡¡its¡¡mother¡¡more¡£¡¡But¡¡the
brightest£»¡¡sharpest¡¡little¡¡ecstasy¡¡was¡¡for¡¡the¡¡father¡£

It¡¡began¡¡to¡¡be¡¡strong£»¡¡to¡¡move¡¡vigorously¡¡and¡¡freely£»¡¡to¡¡make
sounds¡¡like¡¡words¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡a¡¡baby¡¡girl¡¡now¡£¡¡Already¡¡it¡¡knew¡¡his
strong¡¡hands£»¡¡it¡¡exulted¡¡in¡¡his¡¡strong¡¡clasp£»¡¡it¡¡laughed¡¡and
crowed¡¡when¡¡he¡¡played¡¡with¡¡it¡£

And¡¡his¡¡heart¡¡grew¡¡red¡­¡­hot¡¡with¡¡passionate¡¡feeling¡¡for
the¡¡child¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡not¡¡much¡¡more¡¡than¡¡a¡¡year¡¡old¡¡when¡¡the¡¡second
baby¡¡was¡¡born¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡took¡¡Ursula¡¡for¡¡his¡¡own¡£¡¡She¡¡his¡¡first
little¡¡girl¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡set¡¡his¡¡heart¡¡on¡¡her¡£

The¡¡second¡¡had¡¡dark¡¡blue¡¡eyes¡¡and¡¡a¡¡fair¡¡skin£º¡¡it¡¡was¡¡more¡¡a
Brangwen£»¡¡people¡¡said¡£¡¡The¡¡hair¡¡was¡¡fair¡£¡¡But¡¡they¡¡forgot¡¡Anna's
stiff¡¡blonde¡¡fleece¡¡of¡¡childhood¡£¡¡They¡¡called¡¡the¡¡newer
Gudrun¡£

This¡¡time£»¡¡Anna¡¡was¡¡stronger£»¡¡and¡¡not¡¡so¡¡eager¡£¡¡She¡¡did¡¡not
mind¡¡that¡¡the¡¡baby¡¡was¡¡not¡¡a¡¡boy¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡enough¡¡that¡¡she¡¡had
milk¡¡and¡¡could¡¡suckle¡¡her¡¡child£º¡¡Oh£»

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