The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第16章

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Brangwen　did　not　like　it。

〃Why　aren't　you　fond　of　Tilly？〃　he　asked。

〃Because……because……because　she　looks　at　me　with　her
eyes　bent。〃

Then　gradually　she　accepted　Tilly　as　belonging　to　the
household；　never　as　a　person。

For　the　first　weeks；　the　black　eyes　of　the　child　were　for
ever　on　the　watch。　Brangwen；　good…humoured　but　impatient；
spoiled　by　Tilly；　was　an　easy　blusterer。　If　for　a　few　minutes　he
upset　the　household　with　his　noisy　impatience；　he　found　at　the
end　the　child　glowering　at　him　with　intense　black　eyes；　and　she
was　sure　to　dart　forward　her　little　head；　like　a　serpent；　with
her　biting：

〃Go　away。〃

〃I'm　not　going　away；〃　he　shouted；　irritated　at　last。
〃Go　yourself……hustle……stir　thysen……hop。〃　And　he
pointed　to　the　door。　The　child　backed　away　from　him；　pale　with
fear。　Then　she　gathered　up　courage；　seeing　him　bee
patient。

〃We　don't　live　with　you；〃　she　said；　thrusting　forward
her　little　head　at　him。　〃You……you're……you're　a
bomakle。〃

〃A　what？〃　he　shouted。

Her　voice　wavered……but　it　came。

〃A　bomakle。〃

〃Ay；　an'　you're　a　akle。〃

She　meditated。　Then　she　hissed　forwards　her　head。

〃I'm　not。〃

〃Not　what？〃

〃A　akle。〃

〃No　more　am　I　a　bomakle。〃

He　was　really　cross。

Other　times　she　would　say：

〃My　mother　doesn't　live　here。〃

〃Oh；　ay？〃

〃I　want　her　to　go　away。〃

〃Then　want's　your　portion；〃　he　replied　laconically。

So　they　drew　nearer　together。　He　would　take　her　with　him　when
he　went　out　in　the　trap。　The　horse　ready　at　the　gate；　he　came
noisily　into　the　house；　which　seemed　quiet　and　peaceful　till　he
appeared　to　set　everything　awake。

〃Now　then；　Topsy；　pop　into　thy　bonnet。〃

The　child　drew　herself　up；　resenting　the　indignity　of　the
address。

〃I　can't　fasten　my　bonnet　myself；〃　she　said　haughtily。

〃Not　man　enough　yet；〃　he　said；　tying　the　ribbons　under　her
chin　with　clumsy　fingers。

She　held　up　her　face　to　him。　Her　little　bright…red　lips　moved
as　he　fumbled　under　her　chin。

〃You　talk……nonsents；〃　she　said；　re…echoing　one　of　his
phrases。

〃That　face　shouts　for　th'　pump；〃　he　said；　and　taking
out　a　big　red　handkerchief；　that　smelled　of　strong　tobacco；
began　wiping　round　her　mouth。

〃Is　Kitty　waiting　for　me？〃　she　asked。

〃Ay；〃　he　said。　〃Let's　finish　wiping　your　face……it'll
pass　wi'　a　cat…lick。〃

She　submitted　prettily。　Then；　when　he　let　her　go；　she　began
to　skip；　with　a　curious　flicking　up　of　one　leg　behind　her。

〃Now　my　young　buck…rabbit；〃　he　said。　〃Slippy！〃

She　came　and　was　shaken　into　her　coat；　and　the　two　set　off。
She　sat　very　close　beside　him　in　the　gig；　tucked　tightly；
feeling　his　big　body　sway；　against　her；　very　splendid。　She　loved
the　rocking　of　the　gig；　when　his　big；　live　body　swayed　upon　her；
against　her。　She　laughed；　a　poignant　little　shrill　laugh；　and
her　black　eyes　glowed。

She　was　curiously　hard；　and　then　passionately　tenderhearted。
Her　mother　was　ill；　the　child　stole　about　on　tip…toe　in　the
bedroom　for　hours；　being　nurse；　and　doing　the　thing　thoughtfully
and　diligently。　Another　day；　her　mother　was　unhappy。　Anna　would
stand　with　her　legs　apart；　glowering；　balancing　on　the　sides　of
her　slippers。　She　laughed　when　the　goslings　wriggled　in　Tilly's
hand；　as　the　pellets　of　food　were　rammed　down　their　throats　with
a　skewer；　she　laughed　nervously。　She　was　hard　and　imperious　with
the　animals；　squandering　no　love；　running　about　amongst　them
like　a　cruel　mistress。

Summer　came；　and　hay…harvest；　Anna　was　a　brown　elfish　mite
dancing　about。　Tilly　always　marvelled　over　her；　more　than　she
loved　her。

But　always　in　the　child　was　some　anxious　connection　with　the
mother。　So　long　as　Mrs。　Brangwen　was　all　right；　the　little　girl
played　about　and　took　very　little　notice　of　her。　But
corn…harvest　went　by；　the　autumn　drew　on；　and　the　mother；　the
later　months　of　her　pregnancy　beginning；　was　strange　and
detached；　Brangwen　began　to　knit　his　brows；　the　old；　unhealthy
uneasiness；　the　unskinned　susceptibility　came　on　the　child
again。　If　she　went　to　the　fields　with　her　father；　then；　instead
of　playing　about　carelessly；　it　was：

〃I　want　to　go　home。〃

〃Home；　why　tha's　nobbut　this　minute　e。〃

〃I　want　to　go　home。〃

〃What　for？　What　ails　thee？〃

〃I　want　my　mother。〃

〃Thy　mother！　Thy　mother　none　wants　thee。〃

〃I　want　to　go　home。〃

There　would　be　tears　in　a　moment。

〃Can　ter　find　t'road；　then？〃

And　he　watched　her　scudding；　silent　and　intent；　along　the
hedge…bottom；　at　a　steady；　anxious　pace；　till　she　turned　and　was
gone　through　the　gateway。　Then　he　saw　her　two　fields　off；　still
pressing　forward；　small　and　urgent。　His　face　was　clouded　as　he
turned　to　plough　up　the　stubble。

The　year　drew　on；　in　the　hedges　the　berries　shone　red　and
twinkling　above　bare　twigs；　robins　were　seen；　great　droves　of
birds　dashed　like　spray　from　the　fallow；　rooks　appeared；　black
and　flapping　down　to　earth；　the　ground　was　cold　as　he　pulled　the
turnips；　the　roads　were　churned　deep　in　mud。　Then　the　turnips
were　pitted　and　work　was　slack。

Inside　the　house　it　was　dark；　and　quiet。　The　child　flitted
uneasily　round；　and　now　and　again　came　her　plaintive；　startled
cry：

〃Mother！〃

Mrs。　Brangwen　was　heavy　and　unresponsive；　tired；　lapsed　back。
Brangwen　went　on　working　out　of　doors。

At　evening；　when　he　came　in　to　milk；　the　child　would　run
behind　him。　Then；　in　the　cosy　cow…sheds；　with　the　doors　shut　and
the　air　looking　warm　by　the　light　of　the　hanging　lantern；　above
the　branching　horns　of　the　cows；　she　would　stand　watching　his
hands　squeezing　rhythmically　the　teats　of　the　placid　beast；
watch　the　froth　and　the　leaping　squirt　of　milk；　watch　his　hand
sometimes　rubbing　slowly；　understandingly；　upon　a　hanging　udder。
So　they　kept　each　other　pany；　but　at　a　distance；　rarely
speaking。

The　darkest　days　of　the　year　came　on；　the　child　was　fretful；
sighing　as　if　some　oppression　were　on　her；　running　hither　and
thither　without　relief。　And　Brangwen　went　about　at　his　work；
heavy；　his　heart　heavy　as　the　sodden　earth。

The　winter　nights　fell　early；　the　lamp　was　lighted　before
tea…time；　the　shutters　were　closed；　they　were　all　shut　into　the
room　with　the　tension　and　stress。　Mrs。　Brangwen　went　early　to
bed；　Anna　playing　on　the　floor　beside　her。　Brangwen　sat　in　the
emptiness　of　the　downstairs　room；　smoking；　scarcely　conscious
even　of　his　own　misery。　And　very　often　he　went　out　to　escape
it。

Christmas　passed；　the　wet；　drenched；　cold　days　of　January
recurred　monotonously；　with　now　and　then　a　brilliance　of　blue
flashing　in；　when　Brangwen　went　out　into　a　morning　like　crystal；
when　every　sound　rang　again；　and　the　birds　were　many　and　sudden
and　brusque　in　the　hedges。　Then　an　elation　came　over　him　in
spite　of　everything；　whether　his　wife　were　strange　or　sad；　or
whether　he　craved　for　her　to　be　with　him；　it　did　not　matter；　the
air　rang　with　clear　noises；　the　sky　was　like　crystal；　like　a
bell；　and　the　earth　was　hard。　Then　he　worked　and　was　happy；　his
eyes　shining；　his　cheeks　flushed。　And　the　zest　of　life　was
strong　in　him。

The　birds　pecked　busily　round　him；　the　horses　were　fresh　and
ready；　the　bare　branches　of　the　trees　flung　themselves　up　like　a
man　yawning；　taut　with　energy；　the　twigs　radiated　off　into　the
clear　light。　He　was　alive　and　full　of　zest　for　it　all。　And　if
his　wife　were　heavy；　separated　from　him；　extinguished；　then；　let
her　be；　let　him　remain　himself。　Things　would　be　as　they　would
be。　Meanwhile　he　heard　the　ringing　crow　of　a　cockerel　in　the
distance；　he　saw　the　pale　shell　of　the　moon　effaced　on　a　blue
sky。

So　he　shouted　to　the　horses；　and　was　happy。　If；　driving　into
Ilkeston；　a　fresh　young　woman　were　going　in　to　do　her　shopping；
he　hailed　her；　and　reined　in　his　horse；　and　picked　her　up。　Then
he　was　glad　to　have　her　near　him；　his　eyes　shone；　his　voice；
laughing；　teasing　in　a　warm　fashion；　made　the　poise　of　her　head
more　beautiful；　her　blood　ran　quicker。　They　were　both
stimulated；　the　morning　was　fine。

What　did　it　matter　that；　at　the　bottom　of　his　heart；　was　care
and　pain？　It　was　at　the　bottom；　let　it　stop　at　the　bottom。　His
wife；　her　suffering；　her　ing　pain……well；　it　must　be　so。
She　suffered；　but　he　was　out　of　doors；　full　in　life；　and　it
would　be　ridiculous；　indecent；　to　pull　a　long　face　and　to　insist
on　being　miserable。　He　was　happy；　this　morning；　driving　to　town；
with　the　hoofs　of　the　horse　spanking　the　hard　earth。　Well　he　was
happy；　if　half　the　world　were　weeping　at　the　funeral　of　the
other　half。　And　it　was　a　jolly　girl　sitting　beside　him。　And
Woman　was　immortal；　whatever　happened；　whoever　turned　towards
death。　Let　the　misery　e　when　it　could　not　be　resisted。

The　evening　arrived　later　very　beautiful；　with　a　rosy　flush
hovering　above　the　sunset；　and　passing　away　into　violet　and
lavender；　with　turquoise　green　north　and　south　in　the　sky；　and
in　the　east；　a　great；　yellow　moon　hanging　heavy　and　radiant。　It
was　magnificent　to　walk　between　the　sunset　and　the　moon；　on　a
road　where　little　holly　trees　thrust　black　into　the　rose　and
lavender；　and　starlings　flickered　in　droves　across　the　light。
But　what　was　the　end　of　the　journey？　The　pain　came　right　enough；
later　on；　when　his　heart　and　his　feet　were　heavy；　his　brain
dead；　his　life　stopped。

One　afternoon；　the　pains　began；　Mrs。　Brangwen　was　put　to