The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第103章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


they　had　a　secret　agreement　which　held　good　in　the　profound
darkness。　The　profound　darkness　was　their　universe。

〃It　is　like　it　was　before；〃　she　said。

Yet　it　was　not　in　the　least　as　it　was　before。　Nevertheless
his　heart　was　perfectly　in　accord　with　her。　They　thought　one
thought。

〃I　knew　I　should　e　back；〃　he　said　at　length。

She　quivered。

〃Did　you　always　love　me？〃　she　asked。

The　directness　of　the　question　overcame　him；　submerged　him
for　a　moment。　The　darkness　travelled　massively　along。

〃I　had　to　e　back　to　you；〃　he　said；　as　if　hypnotized。　〃You
were　always　at　the　back　of　everything。〃

She　was　silent　with　triumph；　like　fate。

〃I　loved　you；〃　she　said；　〃always。〃

The　dark　flame　leaped　up　in　him。　He　must　give　her　himself。　He
must　give　her　the　very　foundations　of　himself。　He　drew　her　very
close；　and　they　went　on　in　silence。

She　started　violently；　hearing　voices。　They　were　near　a　stile
across　the　dark　meadows。

〃It's　only　lovers；〃　he　said　to　her；　softly。

She　looked　to　see　the　dark　figures　against　the　fence；
wondering　that　the　darkness　was　inhabited。

〃Only　lovers　will　walk　here　to…night；〃　he　said。

Then　in　a　low；　vibrating　voice　he　told　her　about　Africa；　the
strange　darkness；　the　strange；　blood　fear。

〃I　am　not　afraid　of　the　darkness　in　England；〃　he　said。　〃It　is
soft；　and　natural　to　me；　it　is　my　medium；　especially　when　you
are　here。　But　in　Africa　it　seems　massive　and　fluid　with
terror……not　fear　of　anything……just　fear。　One　breathes
it；　like　the　smell　of　blood。　The　blacks　know　it。　They　worship
it；　really；　the　darkness。　One　almost　likes　it……the
fear……something　sensual。〃

She　thrilled　again　to　him。　He　was　to　her　a　voice　out　of　the
darkness。　He　talked　to　her　all　the　while；　in　low　tones；　about
Africa；　conveying　something　strange　and　sensual　to　her：　the
negro；　with　his　loose；　soft　passion　that　could　envelop　one　like
a　bath。　Gradually　he　transferred　to　her　the　hot；　fecund　darkness
that　possessed　his　own　blood。　He　was　strangely　secret。　The　whole
world　must　be　abolished。　He　maddened　her　with　his　soft；
cajoling；　vibrating　tones。　He　wanted　her　to　answer；　to
understand。　A　turgid；　teeming　night；　heavy　with　fecundity　in
which　every　molecule　of　matter　grew　big　with　increase；　secretly
urgent　with　fecund　desire；　seemed　to　e　to　pass。　She　quivered；
taut　and　vibrating；　almost　pained。　And　gradually；　he　ceased
telling　her　of　Africa；　there　came　a　silence；　whilst　they　walked
the　darkness　beside　the　massive　river。　Her　limbs　were　rich　and
tense；　she　felt　they　must　be　vibrating　with　a　low；　profound
vibration。　She　could　scarcely　walk。　The　deep　vibration　of　the
darkness　could　only　be　felt；　not　heard。

Suddenly；　as　they　walked；　she　turned　to　him　and　held　him
fast；　as　if　she　were　turned　to　steel。

〃Do　you　love　me？〃　she　cried　in　anguish。

〃Yes；〃　he　said；　in　a　curious；　lapping　voice；　unlike　himself。
〃Yes；　I　love　you。〃

He　seemed　like　the　living　darkness　upon　her；　she　was　in　the
embrace　of　the　strong　darkness。　He　held　her　enclosed；　soft；
unutterably　soft；　and　with　the　unrelaxing　softness　of　fate；　the
relentless　softness　of　fecundity。　She　quivered；　and　quivered；
like　a　tense　thing　that　is　struck。　But　he　held　her　all　the　time；
soft；　unending；　like　darkness　closed　upon　her；　omnipresent　as
the　night。　He　kissed　her；　and　she　quivered　as　if　she　were　being
destroyed；　shattered。　The　lighted　vessel　vibrated；　and　broke　in
her　soul；　the　light　fell；　struggled；　and　went　dark。　She　was　all
dark；　will…less；　having　only　the　receptive　will。

He　kissed　her；　with　his　soft；　enveloping　kisses；　and　she
responded　to　them　pletely；　her　mind；　her　soul　gone　out。
Darkness　cleaving　to　darkness；　she　hung　close　to　him；　pressed
herself　into　soft　flow　of　his　kiss；　pressed　herself　down；　down
to　the　source　and　core　of　his　kiss；　herself　covered　and
enveloped　in　the　warm；　fecund　flow　of　his　kiss；　that　travelled
over　her；　flowed　over　her；　covered　her；　flowed　over　the　last
fibre　of　her；　so　they　were　one　stream；　one　dark　fecundity；　and
she　clung　at　the　core　of　him；　with　her　lips　holding　open　the
very　bottommost　source　of　him。

So　they　stood　in　the　utter；　dark　kiss；　that　triumphed　over
them　both；　subjected　them；　knitted　them　into　one　fecund　nucleus
of　the　fluid　darkness。

It　was　bliss；　it　was　the　nucleolating　of　the　fecund　darkness。
Once　the　vessel　had　vibrated　till　it　was　shattered；　the　light　of
consciousness　gone；　then　the　darkness　reigned；　and　the
unutterable　satisfaction。

They　stood　enjoying　the　unmitigated　kiss；　taking　it；　giving
to　it　endlessly；　and　still　it　was　not　exhausted。　Their　veins
fluttered；　their　blood　ran　together　as　one　stream。

Till　gradually　a　sleep；　a　heaviness　settled　on　them；　a
drowse；　and　out　of　the　drowse；　a　small　light　of　consciousness
woke　up。　Ursula　became　aware　of　the　night　around　her；　the　water
lapping　and　running　full　just　near；　the　trees　roaring　and
soughing　in　gusts　of　wind。

She　kept　near　to　him；　in　contact　with　him；　but　she　became
ever　more　and　more　herself。　And　she　knew　she　must　go　to　catch
her　train。　But　she　did　not　want　to　draw　away　from　contact　with
him。

At　length　they　roused　and　set　out。　No　longer　they　existed　in
the　unblemished　darkness。　There　was　the　glitter　of　a　bridge；　the
twinkle　of　lights　across　the　river；　the　big　flare　of　the　town　in
front　and　on　their　right。

But　still；　dark　and　soft　and　incontestable；　their　bodies
walked　untouched　by　the　lights；　darkness　supreme　and
arrogant。

〃The　stupid　lights；〃　Ursula　said　to　herself；　in　her　dark
sensual　arrogance。　〃The　stupid；　artificial；　exaggerated　town；
fuming　its　lights。　It　does　not　exist　really。　It　rests　upon　the
unlimited　darkness；　like　a　gleam　of　coloured　oil　on　dark　water；
but　what　is　it？……nothing；　just　nothing。〃

In　the　tram；　in　the　train；　she　felt　the　same。　The　lights；　the
civic　uniform　was　a　trick　played；　the　people　as　they　moved　or
sat　were　only　dummies　exposed。　She　could　see；　beneath　their
pale；　wooden　pretence　of　posure　and　civic　purposefulness；　the
dark　stream　that　contained　them　all。　They　were　like　little　paper
ships　in　their　motion。　But　in　reality　each　one　was　a　dark；
blind；　eager　wave　urging　blindly　forward；　dark　with　the　same
homogeneous　desire。　And　all　their　talk　and　all　their　behaviour
was　sham；　they　were　dressed…up　creatures。　She　was　reminded　of
the　Invisible　Man；　who　was　a　piece　of　darkness　made　visible　only
by　his　clothes。

During　the　next　weeks；　all　the　time　she　went　about　in　the
same　dark　richness；　her　eyes　dilated　and　shining　like　the　eyes
of　a　wild　animal；　a　curious　half…smile　which　seemed　to　be　gibing
at　the　civic　pretence　of　all　the　human　life　about　her。

〃What　are　you；　you　pale　citizens？〃　her　face　seemed　to　say；
gleaming。　〃You　subdued　beast　in　sheep's　clothing；　you　primeval
darkness　falsified　to　a　social　mechanism。〃

She　went　about　in　the　sensual　sub…consciousness　all　the　time；
mocking　at　the　ready…made；　artificial　daylight　of　the　rest。

〃They　assume　selves　as　they　assume　suits　of　clothing；〃　she
said　to　herself；　looking　in　mocking　contempt　at　the　stiffened；
neutralized　men。　〃They　think　it　better　to　be　clerks　or
professors　than　to　be　the　dark；　fertile　beings　that　exist　in　the
potential　darkness。　What　do　you　think　you　are？〃　her　soul　asked
of　the　professor　as　she　sat　opposite　him　in　class。　〃What　do　you
think　you　are；　as　you　sit　there　in　your　gown　and　your
spectacles？　You　are　a　lurking；　blood…sniffing　creature　with　eyes
peering　out　of　the　jungle　darkness；　snuffing　for　your　desires。
That　is　what　you　are；　though　nobody　would　believe　it；　and
you　would　be　the　very　last　to　allow　it。〃

Her　soul　mocked　at　all　this　pretence。　Herself；　she　kept　on
pretending。　She　dressed　herself　and　made　herself　fine；　she
attended　her　lectures　and　scribbled　her　notes。　But　all　in　a　mood
of　superficial；　mocking　facility。　She　understood　well　enough
their　two…and…two…make…four　tricks。　She　was　as　clever　as　they
were。　But　care！……did　she　care　about　their　monkey　tricks　of
knowledge　or　learning　or　civic　deportment？　She　did　not　care　in
the　least。

There　was　Skrebensky；　there　was　her　dark；　vital　self。　Outside
the　college；　the　outer　darkness；　Skrebensky　was　waiting。　On　the
edge　of　the　night；　he　was　attentive。　Did　he　care？

She　was　free　as　a　leopard　that　sends　up　its　raucous　cry　in
the　night。　She　had　the　potent；　dark　stream　of　her　own　blood；　she
had　the　glimmering　core　of　fecundity；　she　had　her　mate；　her
plement；　her　sharer　in　fruition。　So；　she　had　all；
everything。

Skrebensky　was　staying　in　Nottingham　all　the　time。　He　too　was
free。　He　knew　no　one　in　this　town；　he　had　no　civic　self　to
maintain。　He　was　free。　Their　trams　and　markets　and　theatres　and
public　meetings　were　a　shaken　kaleidoscope　to　him；　he　watched　as
a　lion　or　a　tiger　may　lie　with　narrowed　eyes　watching　the　people
pass　before　its　cage；　the　kaleidoscopic　unreality　of　people；　or
a　leopard　lie　blinking；　watching　the　inprehensible　feats　of
the　keepers。　He　despised　it　all……it　was　all　non…existent。
Their　good　professors；　their　good　clergymen；　their　good
political　speakers；　their　good；　earnest　women……all　the　time
he　felt　his　soul　was　grinning；　grinning　at　the　sight　of　them。　So
many　performing　puppets；　all　wood　and　rag　for　the
performance！

He　watched　the　citizen；　a　pillar　of　society；　a　m