little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第94章

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'Humiliation　I　have　happily　been　spared　until　this　day。　Through　all
my　troubles　there　has　been　that……Spirit　in　myself；　and　that……that
submission　to　it；　if　I　may　use　the　term；　in　those　about　me；　which　has
spared　me……ha……humiliation。　But　this　day；　this　minute；　I　have　keenly
felt　it。'

'Of　course！　How　could　it　be　otherwise？'　exclaimed　the　irrepressible
Fanny。　'Careering　and　prancing　about　with　a　Pauper！'　（air…gun　again）。

'But；　dear　father；'　cried　Little　Dorrit；　'I　don't　justify　myself　for
having　wounded　your　dear　heart……no！　Heaven　knows　I　don't！'　She　clasped
her　hands　in　quite　an　agony　of　distress。　'I　do　nothing　but　beg　and　pray
you　to　be　forted　and　overlook　it。　But　if　I　had　not　known　that　you
were　kind　to　the　old　man　yourself；　and　took　much　notice　of　him；　and　were
always　glad　to　see　him；　I　would　not　have　e　here　with　him；　father；　I
would　not；　indeed。　What　I　have　been　so　unhappy　as　to　do；　I　have　done
in　mistake。　I　would　not　wilfully　bring　a　tear　to　your　eyes；　dear　love！'
said　Little　Dorrit；　her　heart　well…nigh　broken；　'for　anything　the　world
could　give　me；　or　anything　it　could　take　away。'

Fanny；　with　a　partly　angry　and　partly　repentant　sob；　began　to　cry
herself；　and　to　say……as　this　young　lady　always　said　when　she　was　half　in
passion　and　half　out　of　it；　half　spiteful　with　herself　and　half　spiteful
with　everybody　else……that　she　wished　she　were　dead。

The　Father　of　the　Marshalsea　in　the　meantime　took　his　younger　daughter
to　his　breast；　and　patted　her　head。　'There；　there！　Say　no　more；　Amy；
say　no　more；　my　child。　I　will　forget　it　as　soon　as　I　can。　I；'　with
hysterical　cheerfulness；　'I……shall　soon　be　able　to　dismiss　it。　It
is　perfectly　true；　my　dear；　that　I　am　always　glad　to　see　my　old
pensioner……as　such；　as　such……and　that　I　do……ha……extend　as　much
protection　and　kindness　to　the……hum……the　bruised　reed……I　trust　I　may　so
call　him　without　impropriety……as　in　my　circumstances；　I　can。　It　is　quite
true　that　this　is　the　case；　my　dear　child。　At　the　same　time；　I　preserve
in　doing　this；　if　I　may……ha……if　I　may　use　the　expression……Spirit。
Being　Spirit。　And　there　are　some　things　which　are；'　he　stopped　to
sob；　'irreconcilable　with　that；　and　wound　that……wound　it　deeply。

It　is　not　that　I　have　seen　my　good　Amy　attentive；　and……ha……condescending
to　my　old　pensioner……it　is　not　that　that　hurts　me。　It　is；　if　I　am　to
close　the　painful　subject　by　being　explicit；　that　I　have　seen　my　child；
my　own　child；　my　own　daughter；　ing　into　this　College　out　of　the
public　streets……smiling！　smiling！……arm　in　arm　with……O　my　God；　a　livery！'

This　reference　to　the　coat　of　no　cut　and　no　time；　the　unfortunate
gentleman　gasped　forth；　in　a　scarcely　audible　voice；　and　with　his
clenched　pocket…handkerchief　raised　in　the　air。　His　excited　feelings
might　have　found　some　further　painful　utterance；　but　for　a　knock　at　the
door；　which　had　been　already　twice　repeated；　and　to　which　Fanny　（still
wishing　herself　dead；　and　indeed　now　going　so　far　as　to　add；　buried）
cried　'e　in！'

'Ah；　Young　John！'　said　the　Father；　in　an　altered　and　calmed　voice。　'What
is　it；　Young　John？'

'A　letter　for　you；　sir；　being　left　in　the　Lodge　just　this　minute；　and　a
message　with　it；　I　thought；　happening　to　be　there　myself；　sir；　I　would
bring　it　to　your　room。'　The　speaker's　attention　was　much　distracted　by
the　piteous　spectacle　of　Little　Dorrit　at　her　father's　feet；　with　her
head　turned　away。

'Indeed；　John？　Thank　you。'

'The　letter　is　from　Mr　Clennam；　sir……it's　the　answer……and　the　message
was；　sir；　that　Mr　Clennam　also　sent　his　pliments；　and　word　that　he
would　do　himself　the　pleasure　of　calling　this　afternoon；　hoping　to　see
you；　and　likewise；'　attention　more　distracted　than　before；　'Miss　Amy。'

'Oh！'　As　the　Father　glanced　into　the　letter　（there　was　a　bank…note　in
it）；　he　reddened　a　little；　and　patted　Amy　on　the　head　afresh。　'Thank
you；　Young　John。　Quite　right。　Much　obliged　to　you　for　your　attention。　No
one　waiting？'

'No；　sir；　no　one　waiting。'

'Thank　you；　John。　How　is　your　mother；　Young　John？'

'Thank　you；　sir；　she's　not　quite　as　well　as　we　could　wish……in　fact；　we
none　of　us　are；　except　father……but　she's　pretty　well；　sir。'　'Say　we　sent
our　remembrances；　will　you？　Say　kind　remembrances；　if　you　please；　Young
John。'

'Thank　you；　sir；　I　will。'　And　Mr　Chivery　junior　went　his　way；　having
spontaneously　posed　on　the　spot　an　entirely　new　epitaph　for　himself；
to　the　effect　that　Here　lay　the　body　of　John　Chivery；　Who；　Having
at　such　a　date；　Beheld　the　idol　of　his　life；　In　grief　and　tears；　And
feeling　unable　to　bear　the　harrowing　spectacle；　Immediately　repaired　to
the　abode　of　his　inconsolable　parents；　And　terminated　his　existence　by
his　own　rash　act。

'There；　there；　Amy！'　said　the　Father；　when　Young　John　had　closed　the
door；　'let　us　say　no　more　about　it。'　The　last　few　minutes　had　improved
his　spirits　remarkably；　and　he　e。　'Where　is　my　old
pensioner　all　this　while？　We　must　not　leave　him　by　himself　any　longer；
or　he　will　begin　to　suppose　he　is　not　wele；　and　that　would　pain　me。
Will　you　fetch　him；　my　child；　or　shall　I？'

'If　you　wouldn't　mind；　father；'　said　Little　Dorrit；　trying　to　bring　her
sobbing　to　a　close。

'Certainly　I　will　go；　my　dear。　I　forgot；　your　eyes　are　rather　red。

There！　Cheer　up；　Amy。　Don't　be　uneasy　about　me。　I　am　quite　myself　again；
my　love；　quite　myself。　Go　to　your　room；　Amy；　and　make　yourself　look
fortable　and　pleasant　to　receive　Mr　Clennam。'

'I　would　rather　stay　in　my　own　room；　Father；'　returned　Little　Dorrit；
finding　it　more　difficult　than　before　to　regain　her　posure。　'I　would
far　rather　not　see　Mr　Clennam。'

'Oh；　fie；　fie；　my　dear；　that's　folly。　Mr　Clennam　is　a　very　gentlemanly
man……very　gentlemanly。　A　little　reserved　at　times；　but　I　will　say
extremely　gentlemanly。　I　couldn't　think　of　your　not　being　here　to
receive　Mr　Clennam；　my　dear；　especially　this　afternoon。　So　go　and
freshen　yourself　up；　Amy；　go　and　freshen　yourself　up；　like　a　good　girl。'

Thus　directed；　Little　Dorrit　dutifully　rose　and　obeyed：　only　pausing
for　a　moment　as　she　went　out　of　the　room；　to　give　her　sister　a　kiss　of
reconciliation。　Upon　which；　that　young　lady；　feeling　much　harassed
in　her　mind；　and　having　for　the　time　worn　out　the　wish　with　which　she
generally　relieved　it；　conceived　and　executed　the　brilliant　idea　of
wishing　Old　Nandy　dead；　rather　than　that　he　should　e　bothering　there
like　a　disgusting；　tiresome；　wicked　wretch；　and　making　mischief　between
two　sisters。

The　Father　of　the　Marshalsea；　even　humming　a　tune；　and　wearing　his　black
velvet　cap　a　little　on　one　side；　so　much　improved　were　his　spirits；　went
down　into　the　yard；　and　found　his　old　pensioner　standing　there　hat　in
hand　just　within　the　gate；　as　he　had　stood　all　this　time。　'e；　Nandy！'
said　he；　with　great　suavity。　'e　up…stairs；　Nandy；　you　know　the　way；
why　don't　you　e　up…stairs？'　He　went　the　length；　on　this　occasion；
of　giving　him　his　hand　and　saying；　'How　are　you；　Nandy？　Are　you　pretty
well？'　To　which　that　vocalist　returned；　'I　thank　you；　honoured　sir；　I　am
all　the　better　for　seeing　your　honour。'　As　they　went　along　the　yard；　the
Father　of　the　Marshalsea　presented　him　to　a　Collegian　of　recent　date。
'An　old　acquaintance　of　mine；　sir；　an　old　pensioner。'　And　then　said；　'Be
covered；　my　good　Nandy；　put　your　hat　on；'　with　great　consideration。

His　patronage　did　not　stop　here；　for　he　charged　Maggy　to　get　the　tea
ready；　and　instructed　her　to　buy　certain　tea…cakes；　fresh　butter；
eggs；　cold　ham；　and　shrimps：　to　purchase　which　collation　he　gave　her　a
bank…note　for　ten　pounds；　laying　strict　injunctions　on　her　to　be　careful
of　the　change。　These　preparations　were　in　an　advanced　stage　of　progress；
and　his　daughter　Amy　had　e　back　with　her　work；　when　Clennam　presented
himself；　whom　he　most　graciously　received；　and　besought　to　join　their
meal。

'Amy；　my　love；　you　know　Mr　Clennam　even　better　than　I　have　the　happiness
of　doing。　Fanny；　my　dear；　you　are　acquainted　with　Mr　Clennam。'　Fanny
acknowledged　him　haughtily；　the　position　she　tacitly　took　up　in　all　such
cases　being　that　there　was　a　vast　conspiracy　to　insult　the　family　by　not
understanding　it；　or　sufficiently　deferring　to　it；　and　here　was　one　of
the　conspirators。

'This；　Mr　Clennam；　you　must　know；　is　an　old　pensioner　of　mine；　Old
Nandy；　a　very　faithful　old　man。'　（He　always　spoke　of　him　as　an　object
of　great　antiquity；　but　he　was　two　or　three　years　younger　than　himself。）
'Let　me　see。　You　know　Plornish；　I　think？　I　think　my　daughter　Amy　has
mentioned　to　me　that　you　know　poor　Plornish？'

'O　yes！'　said　Arthur　Clennam。

'Well；　sir；　this　is　Mrs　Plornish's　father。'

'Indeed？　I　am　glad　to　see　him。'

'You　would　be　more　glad　if　you　kner
Clennam。'

'I　hope　I　shall　e　to　know　them　through　knowing　him；'　said　Arthur；
secretly　pitying　the　bowed　and　submissive　figure。

'It　is　a　holiday　with　him；　and　he　es　to　see　his　old　friends；　who　are
always　glad　to　see　him；'　observed　the　Father　of　the　Marshalsea。

Then　he　added　behind　his　hand；　（'Union；　poor　old　fellow。　Out　for　the
day。'）

By　this　time　Maggy；　quietly　assisted　by　her　Little　Mother；　had　spread
the　board；　and　the　repast　was　ready。　It　being　hot　weather　and　the　prison
very　close；　the　window　was　as　wide　open　as　it　could　be　pushed。　'If　Maggy
will　spr