little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第148章

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himself。　He　said　it　was　the　very　thing　for　Sparkler。　There　was　nothing
to　do；　and　he　would　do　it　charmingly；　there　was　a　handsome　salary　to
draw；　and　he　would　draw　it　charmingly；　it　was　a　delightful；　appropriate；
capital　appointment；　and　he　almost　forgave　the　donor　his　slight　of
himself；　in　his　joy　that　the　dear　donkey　for　whom　he　had　so　great　an
affection　was　so　admirably　stabled。　Nor　did　his　benevolence　stop　here。
He　took　pains；　on　all　social　occasions；　to　draw　Mr　Sparkler　out；　and
make　him　conspicuous　before　the　pany；　and；　although　the　considerate
action　always　resulted　in　that　young　gentleman's　making　a　dreary　and
forlorn　mental　spectacle　of　himself；　the　friendly　intention　was　not　to
be　doubted。

Unless；　indeed；　it　chanced　to　be　doubted　by　the　object　of　Mr　Sparkler's
affections。　Miss　Fanny　was　now　in　the　difficult　situation　of　being
universally　known　in　that　light；　and　of　not　having　dismissed　Mr
Sparkler；　however　capriciously　she　used　him。　Hence；　she　was　sufficiently
identified　with　the　gentleman　to　feel　promised　by　his　being　more　than
usually　ridiculous；　and　hence；　being　by　no　means　deficient　in　quickness；
she　sometimes　came　to　his　rescue　against　Gowan；　and　did　him　very　good
service。　But；　while　doing　this；　she　was　ashamed　of　him；　undetermined
whether　to　get　rid　of　him　or　more　decidedly　encourage　him；　distracted
with　apprehensions　that　she　was　every　day　being　more　and　more
immeshed　in　her　uncertainties；　and　tortured　by　misgivings　that　Mrs
Merdle　triumphed　in　her　distress。　With　this　tumult　in　her　mind；　it　is　no
subject　for　surprise　that　Miss　Fanny　came　home　one　night　in　a　state
of　agitation　from　a　concert　and　ball　at　Mrs　Merdle's　house；　and　on　her
sister　affectionately　trying　to　soothe　her；　pushed　that　sister　away　from
the　toilette…table　at　which　she　sat　angrily　trying　to　cry；　and　declared
with　a　heaving　bosom　that　she　detested　everybody；　and　she　wished　she　was
dead。

'Dear　Fanny；　what　is　the　matter？　Tell　me。'

'Matter；　you　little　Mole；'　said　Fanny。　'If　you　were　not　the　blindest　of
the　blind；　you　would　have　no　occasion　to　ask　me。　The　idea　of　daring　to
pretend　to　assert　that　you　have　eyes　in　your　head；　and　yet　ask　me　what's
the　matter！'

'Is　it　Mr　Sparkler；　dear？'　'Mis…ter　Spark…ler！'　repeated　Fanny；　with
unbounded　scorn；　as　if　he　were　the　last　subject　in　the　Solar　system　that
could　possibly　be　near　her　mind。　'No；　Miss　Bat；　it　is　not。'

Immediately　afterwards；　she　became　remorseful　for　having　called　her
sister　names；　declaring　with　sobs　that　she　knew　she　made　herself
hateful；　but　that　everybody　drove　her　to　it。


'I　don't　think　you　are　well　to…night；　dear　Fanny。'


'Stuff　and　nonsense！'　replied　the　young　lady；　turning　angry　again；　'I　am
as　well　as　you　are。　Perhaps　I　might　say　better；　and　yet　make　no　boast　of
it。'

Poor　Little　Dorrit；　not　seeing　her　way　to　the　offering　of　any　soothing
words　that　would　escape　repudiation；　deemed　it　best　to　remain　quiet。　At
first；　Fanny　took　this　ill；　too；　protesting　to　her　looking…glass；　that
of　all　the　trying　sisters　a　girl　could　have；　she　did　think　the　most
trying　sister　was　a　flat　sister。　That　she　knew　she　was　at　times　a
wretched　temper；　that　she　knew　she　made　herself　hateful；　that　when　she
made　herself　hateful；　nothing　would　do　her　half　the　good　as　being　told
so；　but　that；　being　afflicted　with　a　flat　sister；　she　never　WAS　told　so；
and　the　consequence　resulted　that　she　was　absolutely　tempted　and
goaded　into　making　herself　disagreeable。　Besides　（she　angrily　told
her　looking…glass）；　she　didn't　want　to　be　forgiven。　It　was　not　a　right
example；　that　she　should　be　constantly　stooping　to　be　forgiven　by　a
younger　sister。　And　this　was　the　Art　of　it……that　she　was　always　being
placed　in　the　position　of　being　forgiven；　whether　she　liked　it　or　not。
Finally　she　burst　into　violent　weeping；　and；　when　her　sister　came　and
sat　close　at　her　side　to　fort　her；　said；　'Amy；　you're　an　Angel！'

'But；　I　tell　you　what；　my　Pet；'　said　Fanny；　when　her　sister's　gentleness
had　calmed　her；　'it　now　es　to　this；　that　things　cannot　and　shall　not
go　on　as　they　are　at　present　going　on；　and　that　there　must　be　an　end　of
this；　one　way　or　another。'

As　the　announcement　was　vague；　though　very　peremptory；　Little　Dorrit
returned；　'Let　us　talk　about　it。'

'Quite　so；　my　dear；'　assented　Fanny；　as　she　dried　her　eyes。　'Let　us　talk
about　it。　I　am　rational　again　now；　and　you　shall　advise　me。　Will　you
advise　me；　my　sweet　child？'

Even　Amy　smiled　at　this　notion；　but　she　said；　'I　will；　Fanny；　as　well　as
I　can。'

'Thank　you；　dearest　Amy；'　returned　Fanny；　kissing　her。　'You　are　my
anchor。'

Having　embraced　her　Anchor　with　great　affection；　Fanny　took　a　bottle　of
sweet　toilette　water　from　the　table；　and　called　to　her　maid　for　a　fine
handkerchief。　She　then　dismissed　that　attendant　for　the　night；　and　went
on　to　be　advised；　dabbing　her　eyes　and　forehead　from　time　to　time　to
cool　them。

'My　love；'　Fanny　began；　'our　characters　and　points　of　view　are
sufficiently　different　（kiss　me　again；　my　darling）；　to　make　it　very
probable　that　I　shall　surprise　you　by　what　I　am　going　to　say。　What　I　am
going　to　say；　my　dear；　is；　that　notwithstanding　our　property；　we　labour；
socially　speaking；　under　disadvantages。　You　don't　quite　understand　what
I　mean；　Amy？'

'I　have　no　doubt　I　shall；'　said　Amy；　mildly；　'after　a　few　words　more。'

'Well；　my　dear；　what　I　mean　is；　that　we　are；　after　all；　newers　into
fashionable　life。'

'I　am　sure；　Fanny；'　Little　Dorrit　interposed　in　her　zealous　admiration；
'no　one　need　find　that　out　in　you。'

'Well；　my　dear　child；　perhaps　not；'　said　Fanny；　'though　it's　most　kind
and　most　affectionate　in　you；　you　precious　girl；　to　say　so。'　Here　she
dabbed　her　sister's　forehead；　and　blew　upon　it　a　little。　'But　you　are；'
resumed　Fanny；　'as　is　well　known；　the　dearest　little　thing　that　ever
was！　To　resume；　my　child。　Pa　is　extremely　gentlemanly　and　extremely　well
informed；　but　he　is；　in　some　trifling　respects；　a　little　different　from
other　gentlemen　of　his　fortune：　partly　on　account　of　what　he　has　gone
through；　poor　dear：　partly；　I　fancy；　on　account　of　its　often　running　in
his　mind　that　other　people　are　thinking　about　that；　while　he　is　talking
to　them。　Uncle；　my　love；　is　altogether　unpresentable。　Though　a　dear
creature　to　whom　I　am　tenderly　attached；　he　is；　socially　speaking；
shocking。　Edward　is　frightfully　expensive　and　dissipated。　I　don't　mean
that　there　is　anything　ungenteel　in　that　itself……far　from　it……but　I
do　mean　that　he　doesn't　do　it　well；　and　that　he　doesn't；　if　I　may
so　express　myself；　get　the　money's…worth　in　the　sort　of　dissipated
reputation　that　attaches　to　him。'

'Poor　Edward！'　sighed　Little　Dorrit；　with　the　whole　family　history　in
the　sigh。

'Yes。　And　poor　you　and　me；　too；'　returned　Fanny；　rather　sharply。

'Very　true！　Then；　my　dear；　we　have　no　mother；　and　we　have　a　Mrs　General。
And　I　tell　you　again；　darling；　that　Mrs　General；　if　I　may　reverse　a
mon　proverb　and　adapt　it　to　her；　is　a　cat　in　gloves　who　WILL
catch　mice。　That　woman；　I　am　quite　sure　and　confident；　will　be　our
mother…in…law。'

'I　can　hardly　think；　Fanny…'　Fanny　stopped　her。

'Now；　don't　argue　with　me　about　it；　Amy；'　said　she；　'because　I　know
better。'　Feeling　that　she　had　been　sharp　again；　she　dabbed　her　sister's
forehead　again；　and　blew　upon　it　again。　'To　resume　once　more；　my　dear。
It　then　bees　a　question　with　me　（I　am　proud　and　spirited；　Amy；　as　you
very　well　know：　too　much　so；　I　dare　say）　whether　I　shall　make　up　my　mind
to　take　it　upon　myself　to　carry　the　family　through。'　'How？'　asked　her
sister；　anxiously。

'I　will　not；'　said　Fanny；　without　ansit　to
be　mother…in…lawed　by　Mrs　General；　and　I　will　not　submit　to　be；　in　any
respect　whatever；　either　patronised　or　tormented　by　Mrs　Merdle。'

Little　Dorrit　laid　her　hand　upon　the　hand　that　held　the　bottle　of　sweet
water；　with　a　still　more　anxious　look。　Fanny；　quite　punishing　her　own
forehead　with　the　vehement　dabs　she　now　began　to　give　it；　fitfully　went
on。

'That　he　has　somehow　or　other；　and　how　is　of　no　consequence；　attained　a
very　good　position；　no　one　can　deny。　That　it　is　a　very　good　connection；
no　one　can　deny。　And　as　to　the　question　of　clever　or　not　clever；　I　doubt
very　much　whether　a　clever　husband　would　be　suitable　to　me。　I　cannot
submit。　I　should　not　be　able　to　defer　to　him　enough。'

'O；　my　dear　Fanny！'　expostulated　Little　Dorrit；　upon　whom　a　kind　of
terror　had　been　stealing　as　she　perceived　what　her　sister　meant。　'If　you
loved　any　one；　all　this　feeling　would　change。　If　you　loved　any　one；　you
would　no　more　be　yourself；　but　you　would　quite　lose　and　forget　yourself
in　your　devotion　to　him。　If　you　loved　him；　Fanny……'　Fanny　had　stopped
the　dabbing　hand；　and　was　looking　at　her　fixedly。

'O；　indeed！'　cried　Fanny。　'Really？　Bless　me；　how　much　some　people　know
of　some　subjects！　They　say　every　one　has　a　subject；　and　I　certainly
seem　to　have　hit　upon　yours；　Amy。　There；　you　little　thing；　I　was　only　in
fun；'　dabbing　her　sister's　forehead；　'but　don't　you　be　a　silly　puss；
and　don't　you　think　flightily　and　eloquently　about　degenerate
impossibilities。　There！　Now；　I'll　go　back　to　myself。'

'Dear　Fanny；　let　me　say　first；　that　I　would　far　rather　we　worked　for
a　scanty　living　again　than　I　would