little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第101章

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alone；　and　being　instantly　put　out　again　in　his　own　hall；　like　a
rushlight；　by　the　chief　butler；　went　sighing　to　bed。




CHAPTER　34。　A　Shoal　of　Barnacles


Mr　Henry　Gowan　and　the　dog　were　established　frequenters　of　the　cottage；
and　the　day　was　fixed　for　the　wedding。　There　was　to　be　a　convocation　of
Barnacles　on　the　occasion；　in　order　that　that　very　high　and　very　large
family　might　shed　as　much　lustre　on　the　marriage　as　so　dim　an　event　was
capable　of　receiving。

To　have　got　the　whole　Barnacle　family　together　would　have　been
impossible　for　two　reasons。　Firstly；　because　no　building　could　have　held
all　the　members　and　connections　of　that　illustrious　house。　Secondly；
because　wherever　there　was　a　square　yard　of　ground　in　British　occupation
under　the　sun　or　moon；　with　a　public　post　upon　it；　sticking　to　that　post
was　a　Barnacle。　No　intrepid　navigator　could　plant　a　flag…staff　upon　any
spot　of　earth；　and　take　possession　of　it　in　the　British　name；　but
to　that　spot　of　earth；　so　soon　as　the　discovery　was　known；　the
Circumlocution　Office　sent　out　a　Barnacle　and　a　despatch…box。　Thus　the
Barnacles　were　all　over　the　world；　in　every　direction……despatch…boxing
the　pass。

But；　while　the　so…potent　art　of　Prospero　himself　would　have　failed　in
summoning　the　Barnacles　from　every　speck　of　ocean　and　dry　land　on
which　there　was　nothing　（except　mischief）　to　be　done　and　anything　to　be
pocketed；　it　was　perfectly　feasible　to　assemble　a　good　many　Barnacles。
This　Mrs　Gowan　applied　herself　to　do；　calling　on　Mr　Meagles　frequently
with　new　additions　to　the　list；　and　holding　conferences　with　that
gentleman　when　he　was　not　engaged　（as　he　generally　was　at　this　period）
in　examining　and　paying　the　debts　of　his　future　son…in…law；　in　the
apartment　of　scales　and　scoops。

One　marriage　guest　there　was；　in　reference　to　whose　presence　Mr　Meagles
felt　a　nearer　interest　and　concern　than　in　the　attendance　of　the　most
elevated　Barnacle　expected；　though　he　was　far　from　insensible　of　the
honour　of　having　such　pany。　This　guest　was　Clennam。　But　Clennam　had
made　a　promise　he　held　sacred；　among　the　trees　that　summer　night；　and；
in　the　chivalry　of　his　heart；　regarded　it　as　binding　him　to　many　implied
obligations。　In　forgetfulness　of　himself；　and　delicate　service　to　her　on
all　occasions；　he　was　never　to　fail；　to　begin　it；　he　answered　Mr　Meagles
cheerfully；　'I　shall　e；　of　course。'

His　partner；　Daniel　Doyce；　was　something　of　a　stumbling…block　in　Mr
Meagles's　way；　the　worthy　gentleman　being　not　at　all　clear　in　his　own
anxious　mind　but　that　the　mingling　of　Daniel　with　official　Barnacleism
might　produce　some　explosive　bination；　even　at　a　marriage　breakfast。
The　national　offender；　however；　lightened　him　of　his　uneasiness　by
ing　down　to　Twickenham　to　represent　that　he　begged；　with　the　freedom
of　an　old　friend；　and　as　a　favour　to　one；　that　he　might　not　be　invited。
'For；'　said　he；　'as　my　business　with　this　set　of　gentlemen　was　to　do　a
public　duty　and　a　public　service；　and　as　their　business　with　me　was　to
prevent　it　by　wearing　my　soul　out；　I　think　we　had　better　not　eat　and
drink　together　with　a　show　of　being　of　one　mind。'　Mr　Meagles　was　much
amused　by　his　friend's　oddity；　and　patronised　him　with　a　more　protecting
air　of　allowance　than　usual；　when　he　rejoined：　'Well；　well；　Dan；　you
shall　have　your　own　crotchety　way。'

To　Mr　Henry　Gowan；　as　the　time　approached；　Clennam　tried　to　convey
by　all　quiet　and　unpretending　means；　that　he　was　frankly　and
disinterestedly　desirous　of　tendering　him　any　friendship　he　would
accept。　Mr　Gowan　treated　him　in　return　with　his　usual　ease；　and　with　his
usual　show　of　confidence；　which　was　no　confidence　at　all。

'You　see；　Clennam；'　he　happened　to　remark　in　the　course　of　conversation
one　day；　when　they　were　walking　near　the　Cottage　within　a　week　of　the
marriage；　'I　am　a　disappointed　man。　That　you　know　already。'

'Upon　my　word；'　said　Clennam；　a　little　embarrassed；　'I　scarcely　know
how。'

'Why；'　returned　Gowan；　'I　belong　to　a　clan；　or　a　clique；　or　a　family；　or
a　connection；　or　whatever　you　like　to　call　it；　that　might　have　provided
for　me　in　any　one　of　fifty　ways；　and　that　took　it　into　its　head　not　to
do　it　at　all。　So　here　I　am；　a　poor　devil　of　an　artist。'

Clennam　was　beginning；　'But　on　the　other　hand……'　when　Gowan　took　him　up。

'Yes；　yes；　I　know。　I　have　the　good　fortune　of　being　beloved　by　a
beautiful　and　charming　girl　whom　I　love　with　all　my　heart。'　（'Is　there
much　of　it？'　Clennam　thought。　And　as　he　thought　it；　felt　ashamed　of
himself。）

'And　of　finding　a　father…in…law　who　is　a　capital　fellow　and　a　liberal
good　old　boy。　Still；　I　had　other　prospects　washed　and　bed　into　my
childish　head　when　it　was　washed　and　bed　for　me；　and　I　took　them　to
a　public　school　when　I　washed　and　bed　it　for　myself；　and　I　am　here
without　them；　and　thus　I　am　a　disappointed　man。'

Clennam　thought　（and　as　he　thought　it；　again　felt　ashamed　of　himself）；
was　this　notion　of　being　disappointed　in　life；　an　assertion　of　station
which　the　bridegroom　brought　into　the　family　as　his　property；　having
already　carried　it　detrimentally　into　his　pursuit？　And　was　it　a　hopeful
or　a　promising　thing　anywhere？

'Not　bitterly　disappointed；　I　think；'　he　said　aloud。　'Hang　it；　no；　not
bitterly；'　laughed　Gowan。　'My　people　are　not　worth　that……though　they　are
charming　fellows；　and　I　have　the　greatest　affection　for　them。　Besides；
it's　pleasant　to　show　them　that　I　can　do　without　them；　and　that　they　may
all　go　to　the　Devil。　And　besides；　again；　most　men　are　disappointed　in
life；　somehow　or　other；　and　influenced　by　their　disappointment。　But　it's
a　dear　good　world；　and　I　love　it！'

'It　lies　fair　before　you　now；'　said　Arthur。

'Fair　as　this　summer　river；'　cried　the　other；　with　enthusiasm；　'and　by
Jove　I　glow　with　admiration　of　it；　and　with　ardour　to　run　a　race　in　it。
It's　the　best　of　old　worlds！　And　my　calling！　The　best　of　old　callings；
isn't　it？'

'Full　of　interest　and　ambition；　I　conceive；'　said　Clennam。

'And　imposition；'　added　Gowan；　laughing；　'we　won't　leave　out　the
imposition。　I　hope　I　may　not　break　down　in　that；　but　there；　my　being
a　disappointed　man　may　show　itself。　I　may　not　be　able　to　face　it　out
gravely　enough。　Between　you　and　me；　I　think　there　is　some　danger　of　my
being　just　enough　soured　not　to　be　able　to　do　that。'

'To　do　what？'　asked　Clennam。

'To　keep　it　up。　To　help　myself　in　my　turn；　as　the　man　before　me　helps
himself　in　his；　and　pass　the　bottle　of　smoke。　To　keep　up　the　pretence
as　to　labour；　and　study；　and　patience；　and　being　devoted　to　my　art；　and
giving　up　many　solitary　days　to　it；　and　abandoning　many　pleasures　for
it；　and　living　in　it；　and　all　the　rest　of　it……in　short；　to　pass　the
bottle　of　smoke　according　to　rule。'

'But　it　is　well　for　a　man　to　respect　his　own　vocation；　whatever　it　is；
and　to　think　himself　bound　to　uphold　it；　and　to　claim　for　it　the　respect
it　deserves；　is　it　not？'　Arthur　reasoned。　'And　your　vocation；　Gowan；
may　really　demand　this　suit　and　service。　I　confess　I　should　have　thought
that　all　Art　did。'

'What　a　good　fellow　you　are；　Clennam！'　exclaimed　the　other；　stopping
to　look　at　him；　as　if　with　irrepressible　admiration。　'What　a　capital
fellow！　You　have　never　been　disappointed。　That's　easy　to　see。'

It　would　have　been　so　cruel　if　he　had　meant　it；　that　Clennam　firmly
resolved　to　believe　he　did　not　mean　it。　Gowan；　without　pausing；　laid　his
hand　upon　his　shoulder；　and　laughingly　and　lightly　went　on：

'Clennam；　I　don't　like　to　dispel　your　generous　visions；　and　I　would　give
any　money　（if　I　had　any）；　to　live　in　such　a　rose…coloured　mist。　But　what
I　do　in　my　trade；　I　do　to　sell。　What　all　we　fellows　do；　we　do　to
sell。　If　we　didn't　want　to　sell　it　for　the　most　we　can　get　for　it；　we
shouldn't　do　it。　Being　work；　it　has　to　be　done；　but　it's　easily　enough
done。　All　the　rest　is　hocus…pocus。

Now　here's　one　of　the　advantages；　or　disadvantages；　of　knowing　a
disappointed　man。　You　hear　the　truth。'

Whatever　he　had　heard；　and　whether　it　deserved　that　name　or　another；　it
sank　into　Clennam's　mind。　It　so　took　root　there；　that　he　began　to　fear
Henry　Gowan　would　always　be　a　trouble　to　him；　and　that　so　far　he　had
gained　little　or　nothing　from　the　dismissal　of　Nobody；　with　all　his
inconsistencies；　anxieties；　and　contradictions。　He　found　a　contest　still
always　going　on　in　his　breast　between　his　promise　to　keep　Gowan　in
none　but　good　aspects　before　the　mind　of　Mr　Meagles；　and　his　enforced
observation　of　Gowan　in　aspects　that　had　no　good　in　them。　Nor　could　he
quite　support　his　own　conscientious　nature　against　misgivings　that　he
distorted　and　discoloured　himself；　by　reminding　himself　that　he　never
sought　those　discoveries；　and　that　he　would　have　avoided　them　with
willingness　and　great　relief。　For　he　never　could　forget　what　he　had
been；　and　he　knew　that　he　had　once　disliked　Gowan　for　no　better　reason
than　that　he　had　e　in　his　way。

Harassed　by　these　thoughts；　he　now　began　to　wish　the　marriage　over；
Gowan　and　his　young　wife　gone；　and　himself　left　to　fulfil　his　promise；
and　discharge　the　generous　function　he　had　accepted。　This　last　week　was；
in　truth；　an　uneasy　interval　for　the　whole　house。　Before　Pet；　or　before
Gowan；　Mr　Meagles　was　radiant；　but　Clennam　had　more　than　on