the notebook-恋恋笔记本(英文版)-第2章

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he　remaining　months　of　restoration　without　worrying　about　it。　It　would　work　out　for　him；　he　knew：　it　always　did。

Cem；　his　hound　dog；　came　up　to　him　then　and　nuzzled　his　hand　before　lying　down　at　his　feet。　Hey　girl；　how’re　you　doing？”　he　asked　as　he　patted　her　head；　and　she　whined　softly；　her　soft　round　eyes　peering　upwards。　A　car　accident　had　taken　one　of　her　legs；　but　she　still　moved　well　enough　and　kept　him　pany　on　nights　like　these。

　He　was　thirty…one　now；　not　too　old；　but　old　enough　to　be　lonely。　He　hadn’t　dated　since　he’d　been　back　here；　hadn’t　met　anyone　who　remotely　interested　him；　It　was　his　own　fault；　he　knew。　There　was　something　that　kept　a　distance　between　him　and　any　woman　who　started　to　get　close；　something　he　wasn’t　sure　he　could　change　even　if　he　tried。　And　sometimes；　in　the　moments　before　sleep；　he　won…dered　if　he　was　destined　to　be　alone　for　ever。

The　evening　passed；　staying　warm；　nice。　Noah　listened　to　the　crickets　and　the　rustling　leaves；　thinking　that　the　sound　of　nature　was　more　real　and　aroused　more　emotion　than　things　like　cars　and　planes。　Natural　things　gave　back　more　than　they　took；　and　their　sounds　always　brought　him　back　to　the　way　man　was　supposed　to　he。　There　were　times　during　the　war；　especially　after　a　major　engagement；　when　he　had　often　thought　about　these　simple　sounds。　　“It’ll　keep　you　from　going　crazy；”　his　father　had　told　him　the　day　he’d　shipped　out。　“It’s　God’s　music　and　it’ll　take　you　Home。”

He　finished　his　tea；　went　inside；　found　a　book；　then　turned　on　the　porch　light　on　his　way　back　out。　After　sitting　down　again；　he　looked　at　the　book。　It　was　old；　the　cover　was　torn；　and　the　pages　were　stained　with　mud　and　water。　It　was　Leaves　of　Grass　by　Walt　Whitman；　and　he　had　carried　it　with　him　throughout　the　war。　He　let　the　book　open　randomly　and　read　the　words　in　front　of　him：

This　is　thy　hour；　0　Soul；　thy　free　flight　into　the　wordless；

Away　from　hooks；　away　from　art；　the　day　erased；　the　lesson　done；

Thee　fully　forth　emerging；　silent；　gazing；　pondering　the　themes

thou　lovest　best；

Night；　sleep；　death　and　the　stars。

He　smiled　to　himself。　For　some　reason　Whitman　always　reminded　him　of　New　Bern；　and　he　was　glad　he’d　e　back。　Though　he’d　been　away　for　fourteen　years；　this　was　Home　and　he　knew　a　lot　of　people　here；　most　of　them　from　his　youth。　It　wasn’t　surprising。　Like　so　many　southern　towns；　the　people　who　lived　here　never　changed；　they　just　grew　a　bit　older。

His　best　friend　these　days　was　Gus；　a　seventy…year…old　black　man　who　lived　down　the　road。　They　had　met　a　couple　of　weeks　after　Noah　bought　the　house；　when　Gus　had　shown　up　with　some　Homemade　liquor　and　Brunswick　stew；　and　the　two　had　spent　their　first　evening　together　getting　drunk　and　telling　stories。

　Now　Gus　showed　up　a　couple　of　nights　a　week；　usually　around　eight。　With　four　kids　and　eleven　grandchildren　in　the　house；　he　needed　to　get　out　now　and　then；　and　Noah　couldn’t　blame　him。　Usually　Gus　would　bring　his　harmonica　and；　after　talking　for　a　little　while；　they’d　play　a　few　songs　together。

He’d　e　to　regard　Gus　as　family。　There　really　wasn’t　anyone　else；　at　least　not　since　his　father　died　last　year。　He　was　an　only　child　and　his　mother　had　died　of　influenza　when　he　was　two。　And　though　he　had　wanted　to　at　one　time；　he　had　never　married。

But　he　had　been　in　love　once；　that　he　knew。　Once　and　only　once；　and　a　long　time　ago。　And　it　had　changed　him　forever。　Per…fect　love　did　that　to　a　person；　and　this　had　been　perfect。

Coastal　clouds　slowly　began　to　roll　across　the　evening　sky；　turn…ing　silver　with　the　reflection　of　the　moon。　As　they　thickened；　he　leaned　his　head　back　against　the　rocking　chair。　His　legs　moved　automatically；　keeping　a　steady　rhythm；　and　he　felt　his　mind　drift…ing　back　to　a　warm　evening　like　this　fourteen　years　ago。

It　was　just　after　graduation　1932；　the　opening　night　of　the　Neuse　River　Festival。　The　town　was　out　in　full；　enjoying　barbecues　and　games　of　chance。　It　was　humid　that　night—for　some　reason　he　remembered　that　clearly。　He　arrived　alone；　and　as　he　strolled　through　the　crowd；　looking　for　friends；　he　saw　Fin　and　Sarah；　two　people　he’d　grown　up　with；　talking　to　a　girl　he’d　never　seen　before。　She　was　pretty；　he　remembered　thinking；　and　when　he　finally　joined　them；　she　looked　his　way　with　a　pair　of　hazy　eyes。　　“Hi；”　she’d　said　simply　as　she　offered　her　hand。　“Finley’s　told　me　a　lot　about　you。”

An　ordinary　beginning；　something　that　would　have　been　forgot…ten　had　it　been　anyone　but　her。　But　as　he　shook　her　hand　and　met　those　striking　emerald　eyes；　he　knew　before　he’d　taken　his　next　breath　that　she　was　the　one　he　could　spend　the　rest　of　his　life　look…ing　for　but　never　find　again。　She　seemed　that　good；　that　perfect。

From　there；　it　went　like　a　tornado　wind。　Fin　told　him　she　was　spending　the　summer　in　New　Bern　with　her　family；　because　her　father　worked　for　a　tobacco　firm；　and　though　he　only　nodded；　the　way　she　was　looking　at　him　made　his　silence　seem　okay。　Fin　laughed　then；　because　he　knew　what　was　happening；　and　Sarah　suggested　they　get　some　cherry　cokes；　and　the　four　of　them　stayed　at　the　festival　until　the　crowds　were　thin　and　everything　closed　up　for　the　night。

　They　met　the　following　day；　and　the　day　after　that；　and　they　soon　became　inseparable。　Every　morning　but　Sunday；　when　he　had　to　go　to　church；　he　would　finish　his　chores　as　quickly　as　possible；　then　make　a　straight　line　to　Fort　Totten　Park；　where　she’d　be　waiting　for　him。　Because　she　was　a　newer　and　hadn’t　lived　in　a　small　town　before；　they　spent　their　days　doing　things　that　were　pletely　new　to　her。　He　taught　her　how　to　bait　a　line　and　fish　the　shallows　for　largemouth　bass　and　took　her　exploring　through　the　backwoods　of　the　Croatan　Forest。　They　rode　in　canoes　and　watched　summer　thunderstorms；　and　it　seemed　as　though　they’d　always　known　each　other。

But　he　learned　things　as　well。　At　the　town　dance　in　the　tobacco　barn；　it　was　she　who　taught　him　how　to　waltz　and　do　the　Charleston；　and　though　they　stumbled　through　the　first　few　songs；　her　patience　with　him　eventually　paid　off；　and　they　danced　together　until　the　music　ended。　He　walked　her　Home　afterwards；　and　when　they　paused　on　the　porch　after　saying　good　night；　he　kissed　her　for　the　first　time　and　wondered　why　he　had　waited　as　long　as　he　had。

Later　in　the　summer　he　brought　her　to　this　house；　looked　past　the　decay；　and　told　her　that　one　day　he　was　going　to　own　it　and　fix　it　up。　They　spent　hours　together　talking　about　their　dreams—his　of　seeing　the　world；　hers　of　being　an　artist—and　on　a　humid　night　in　August。　They　both　lost　their　virginity。　When　she　left　three　weeks　later；　she　took　a　piece　of　him　and　the　rest　of　summer　with　her。　He　watched　her　leave　town　on　an　early　rainy　morning；　watched　through　eyes　that　hadn’t　slept　the　night　before；　then　went　Home　and　packed　a　hag。　He　spent　the　next　week　alone　on　Harkers　Island。

Noah　checked　his　watch。　Eight　twelve。　He　got　up　and　walked　to　the　front　of　the　house　and　looked　up　the　road。　Gus　wasn’t　in　sight；　and　Noah　figured　he　wouldn’t　be　ing。　He　went　back　to　his　rocker　and　sat　again。

He　remembered　talking　to　Gus　about　her。　The　first　time　he　mentioned　her。　Gus　started　to　shake　his　head　and　laugh。　“So　that’s　the　ghost　you　been　running　from。”　When　asked　what　he　meant。　Gus　said。　“You　know；　the　ghost；　the　memory。　I　been　watchin’　you　workin’　day　and　night；　slavin’　so　hard　you　barely　have　time　to　catch　your　breath。　People　do　that　for　three　reasons。　Either　they　crazy；　or　stupid；　or　tryin’　to　forget。　And　with　you；　I　knew　you　was　tryin’　to　forget。　I　just　didn’t　know　what。”

　Gus　was　right；　of　course。　New　Bern　was　haunted　now。　Haunted　by　the　ghost　of　her　memory。　He　saw　her　in　Fort　Totten　Park；　their　place；　every　time　he　walked　by。　When　he　sat　on　the　porch　at　night　with　his　guitar；　he　saw　her　beside　him；　listening　as　he　played　the　music　of　his　childhood。　Everywhere　he　looked；　he　saw　things　that　brought　her　back　to　life。

Noah　shook　his　head；　and　when　her　image　began　to　fade　he　returned　to　Whitman。　He　read　for　an　hour；　looking　up　every　now　and　then　to　see　raccoons　and　possums　scurrying　near　the　creek。　At　nine　thirty　he　closed　the　book；　went　upstairs　to　the　bedroom　and　wrote　in　his　journal。　Forty　minutes　later　he　was　sleeping。　Clem　wandered　up　the　stairs；　sniffed　him　as　he　slept；　and　then　paced　in　circles　before　finally　curling　up　at　the　foot　of　his　bed。

EARLIER　THAT　evening　and　a　hundred　miles　away；　she　sat　alone　on　the　porch　swing　of　her　parents’　Home；　one　leg　tucked　beneath　her；　wondering　if　she’d　made　the　right　decision。　She’d　struggled　with　it　for　days—and　had　struggled　some　more　this　evening—but　in　the　end　she　knew　she　would　never　forgive　herself　if　she　let　the　oppor…tunity　slip　away。

Lon　didn’t　know　the　real　reason　she　left　the　following　morning。　The　week　before；　she’d　hinted　to　him　that　she　might　want　to　visit　some　antique　shops　near　the　coast。　“It’s　just　a　couple　of　days；”　she　said；　“and　besides；　I　need　a　break　from　planning　the　wedding。”　She　felt　bad　about　the　lie；　but　knew　there　was　no　way　she　could　tell　him　the　truth。　Her　leaving　had　nothing　to　do　with　him；　and　it　wouldn’t　he　fair　of　her　to　ask　him　to　understand。

It　was　an　easy　drive　from　Raleigh；　slightly　more　than