the notebook-恋恋笔记本(英文版)-第14章

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“I　didn’t　hear　you　e　in。”　he　said；　trying　to　sound　casual。　“How　long　have　you　been　standing　there？”

“A　couple　of　minutes。”

Noah　brushed　his　hands　on　his　jeans；　then　pointed　to　the　kitchen。　“Can　I　get　you　some　tea？　I　started　the　water　while　you　were　upstairs。”　Small　talk；　anything　to　keep　his　mind　clear。　But　damn；　the　way　she　looked。。。

She　thought　for　a　second。　Do　you　have　anything　stronger；　or　is　it　too　early　to　drink？”

He　smiled。　“I　have　some　bourbon　in　the　pantry。　Is　that　okay？”

“That　sounds　great。”

　He　started　towards　the　kitchen；　and　Allie　watched　him　run　his　hand　through　his　wet　hair　as　he　disappeared。

Thunder　boomed　loudly　and　another　downpour　started。　Allie　could　hear　the　roaring　of　the　rain　on　the　roof；　could　hear　the　snapping　of　lop　as　the　flickering　flames　lit　the　room。　She　took　a　quilt　from　the　sofa　and　sat　on　the　rug　in　front　of　the　fire。　Crossing　her　legs；　she　adjusted　the　quilt　until　she　was　fortable　and　watched　the　dancing　flames。　Noah　came　back；　saw　what　she　had　done；　and　went　to　sit　beside　her。　He　put　down　two　glasses　and　poured　some　bourbon　into　each　of　them。　Outside；　the　sky　grew　darker。　Thunder　again。　Loud。　The　storm　in　full　fury；　winds　whipping　the　rain　in　circles。

“It’s　quite　a　storm；”　Noah　said　as　he　watched　the　drops　flow　in　vertical　streams　on　the　windows。　He　and　Allie　were　close　now；　though　not　touching；　and　Noah　watched　her　chest　rise　slightly　with　every　breath；　imagining　the　feel　of　her　body　once　again　before　fighting　back　the　thought

“I　like　it；”　she　said；　taking　a　sip。　“I’ve　always　liked　thunderstorms。　Even　as　a　young　girl。”

“Why？”　Saying　anything；　keeping　his　balance。

“I　don’t　know。　They　just　always　seemed　romantic　to　me。”

She　ent；　and　Noah　watched　the　fire　flicker　in　her　emerald　eyes。　Then　she　said；　“Do　you　remember　sitting　together　and　watching　the　storm　a　few　nights　before　I　left？”

“Of　course。”

“I　used　to　think　about　it　all　the　time　after　I　went　Home。　I　always　thought　about　how　you　looked　that　night。　It　was　the　way　I　remembered　you。”

“Have　I　changed　much？”

She　took　another　sip　of　bourbon；　feeling　it　warm　her。　She　touched　his　hand　as　she　answered。

“Not　really。　Not　in　the　things　that　I　remember。　You’re　older；　of　course；　with　more　life　behind　you；　but　you’ve　still　got　the　same　gleam　in　your　eye。　You　still　read　poetry　and　float　on　rivers。　And　you’ve　still　got　a　gentleness　that　not　even　the　war　could　take　away。”

He　thought　about　what　she’d　said　and　felt　her　hand　lingering　on　his；　her　thumb　tracing　slow　circles。

“Allie；　you　asked　me　earlier　what　I　remembered　most　about　the　summer。　What　do　you　remember？”

It　was　a　while　before　she　answered。　〃I　remember　making　love。　That's　what　I　remember　most。　You　were　my　first；　and　it　was　more　wonderful　than　I　ever　thought　it　would　be。〃

Noah　took　a　drink　of　bourbon；　remembering；　bringing　back　the　old　feelings。

She　went　on。　〃I　remember　being　so　afraid　beforehand　that　I　was　trembling；　but　at　the　same　time　being　so　excited。　I'm　glad　you　were　the　first。　I'm　glad　we　were　able　to　share　that。〃

〃Me　too。〃

〃Were　you　as　afraid　as　I　was？〃

Noah　nodded　without　speaking；　and　she　smiled　at　his　honesty。

She　squeezed　his　hand；　let　go；　and　moved　closer。　She　put　her　hand　through　his　arm；　cradling　it；　and　rested　her　head　on　his　shoulder。　He　could　smell　her；　soft　like　the　rain；　ber　walking　Home　after　the　festival？　I　asked　you　if　you　wanted　to　see　me　again。　You　just　nodded　your　head　and　didn't　say　a　word。　It　wasn’t　too　convincing。〃

〃I'd　never　met　anyone　like　you。　I　didn't　know　what　to　say。〃

〃I　know。　You　could　never　hide　anything。　Your　eyes　always　gave　you　away。　You　had　the　most　wonderful　eyes　I'd　ever　seen。〃　She　lifted　her　head　from　his　shoulder　and　looked　directly　at　him。　When　she　spoke；　her　voice　was　barely　above　a　whisper。　〃I　think　I　loved　you　more　that　summer　than　I　ever　loved　anyone。〃

Lightning　flashed　again。　In　the　quiet　moments　before　the　thunder；　their　eyes　met　as　they　tried　to　undo　fourteen　years。　When　the　thunder　finally　sounded；　Noah　sighed　and　turned　from　her；　towards　the　windows。

〃I　wish　you　could　have　read　the　letters　I　wrote　you；〃　he　said。

She　didn't　speak　for　a　while。

〃It　wasn't　just　up　to　you；　Noah。　I　didn’t　tell　you；　but　I　wrote　you　a　dozen　letters　after　I　got　Home。　I　just　never　sent　them。〃

〃Why？〃　Noah　was　surprised。

〃I　guess　I　was　too　afraid。〃

〃Of　what？〃　

〃That　maybe　it　wasn’t　as　real　as　I　thought　it　was。　That　maybe　you　forgot　me。〃

〃I　would　never　do　that。　I　couldn't　even　think　it。〃

〃I　know　that　now。　I　can　see　it　when　I　took　at　you。　But　back　then　it　was　different。　There　was　so　much　I　didn't　understand；　things　that　a　young　girl's　mind　couldn't　sort　out。〃

〃What　do　you　mean？”

〃When　your　letters　never　came；　I　didn't　know　what　to　think。　I　remember　talking　to　my　best　friend　about　that　summer；　and　she　said　that　you　had　got　what　you　wanted；　and　that　she　wasn't　surprised　that　you　wouldn't　write。　I　didn't　believe　that　you　were　that　way；　I　never　did；　but　hearing　it　and　thinking　about　all　our　differences　made　me　wonder　if　maybe　the　summer　meant　more　to　me　than　it　had　meant　to　you　。。。”

　　　Noah　looked　away　and　she　continued。　〃In　time；　the　hurt　began　to　fade　and　it　was　easier　to　just　let　it　go。　At　least　I　thought　it　was。　But　in　every　boy　I　met　in　the　next　few　years　I　found　myself　looking　for　you；　and　when　the　feelings　got　too　strong　I'd　write　you　another　letter。　But　I　never　sent　them　for　fear　of　what　I　might　find。　By　then　you'd　gone　on　with　your　life　and　I　didn't　want　to　think　about　you　loving…someone　else。　I　wanted　to　remember　us　like　we　were　that　summer。〃

〃You're　better　than　I　remembered；　Allie。〃

〃You're　sweet；　Noah。〃

He　almost　stopped　there；　knowing　that　if　he　kept　the　words　inside　him　he　could　keep　control；　the　same　control　he　had　kept　the　past　fourteen　years。　But　then　something　overtook　him　and　he　gave　in　to　it；　hoping　it　would　take　them　back　to　what　they'd　had　so　long　ago。

〃I'm　not　saying　it　because　I'm　sweet。　I'm　saying　it　because　I　love　you　now　and　I　always　have。　More　than　you　can　imagine。〃

A　log　snapped；　sending　sparks　up　the　chimney；　and　both　of　them　noticed　the　smouldering　remains；　almost　burned　through。

Allie　took　a　sip　of　bourbon　and　began　to　feel　its　effects。　But　it　wasn’t　Just　the　alcohol　that　made　her　hold　Noah　a　little　tighter　and　feet　his　warmth　against　her。　Glancing　out　of　the　window；　she　saw　the　clouds　were　almost　black。　〃Noah；　you've　never　asked；　but　I　want　you　to　know　something。〃

〃What　is　it？〃

Her　voice　was　tender。　〃There's　never　been　another；　Noah。　You　weren't　just　the　first。　You're　the　only　man…I've　ever　been　with；　I　don’t　expect　you　to　say　the　same　thing；　but　I　wanted　you　to　know。〃

Noah　was　silent　as　he　turned　away。　She　felt　warmer　as　she　watched　the　fire。　She　leaned　into　him　and　felt　the　heat　between　them；　felt　his　body；　felt　his　arm　tight　around　her。　It　felt　so　right　to　be　here。　Everything　felt　right。　The　fire；　the　drinks；　the　storm—it

couldn't　have　been　more　perfect。　It　seemed　their　years　apart　didn't　matter　any　more。

They　gave　in　then　to　everything　they　had　fought　against　for　the　last　fourteen　years。　Allie　lifted　her　head　off　his　shoulder；　looked　at　him　with　hazy　eyes；　and　Noah　kissed　her　softly　on　the　lips。　She　brought　her　hand　to　his　face　and　touched　his　cheek；　brushing　it　softly　with　her　fingers。　He　leaned　in　and　kissed　her　tenderly；　and　she　kissed　back；　feeling　the　years　of　separation　dissolve　into　passion。

She　closed　her　eyes　and　parted　her　lips　as　he　ran　his　fingers　up　and　down　her　arms；　slowly；　lightly。　He　kissed　her　neck；　her　cheek；　her　eyelids；　and　she　felt　the　moisture　of　his　mouth　linger　wherever　his　lips　had　touched。　She　took　his　hand　and　led　it　to　her　breasts；　and　a　whimper　rose　in　her　throat　as　he　gently　touched　them　through　the　thin　fabric　of　the　shirt。

The　world　seemed　dreamlike　as　she　pulled　back　from　him；　the　firelight　setting　her　face　aglow。　Without　speaking；　she　started　to　undo　the　buttons　on　his　shirt。　He　watched　her　as　she　did　it　and　listened　to　her　soft　breaths　as　she　made　her　way　downwards。　With　each　button　he　could　feel　her　fingers　brushing　against　his　skin；　and　she　smiled　softly　at　him　when　she　finally　finished。　He　felt　her　slide　her　hands　inside；　touching　him　lightly；　exploring　his　body。　She　kissed　his　neck　gently　as　she　pulled　the　shirt　over　his　shoulders；　freeing　the　sleeves。　With　that；　he　slowly　reached　for　her。　He　lifted　her　shirt　and　ran　his　finger　slowly　across　her　belly　before　raising　her　arms　and　slipping　it　off。　She　felt　short　of　breath　as　his　hands　gently　caressed　her　back；　her　arms；　her　shoulders；　and　she　felt　their　heated　bodies　press　together；　skin　to　skin。

They　lay　back；　close　to　the　fire；　and　the　heat　made　the　air　seem　thick。　She　ran　her　hands　through　his　hair　as　he　held　himself　above　her；　his　arm　muscles　hard　from　the　exertion。　With　a　little　tempting　frown；　she　pulled　him　closer；　but　he　resisted。　Instead　he　lowered　himself　and　lightly　rubbed　his　chest　against　her；　and　she　felt　her　body　respond　with　anticipation。

He　did　this　until　she　couldn't　take　it　any　more；　and　when　they　finally　joined　as　one；　she　cried　aloud　and　pressed　her　fingers　hard　into　his　back。　She　buried　her　face　in　his　neck　and　felt　him　deep　inside